Wednesday I hit a pretty major milestone - or at least it felt like one to me. I am coming off the most transformative 18 months of my life since....well, probably since my initial 18 months. So much has changed. So much has gotten better. So much continues to surprise me. So much is awesome.
Part of me cannot believe how fast this time has gone, and part of me feels like it's been a million years.
I look at that girl on the left, and it's truly becoming harder and harder to remember her. And although my first inclination may be to pity her, I quickly look to the right, and realize what a badass she was. She summoned up the courage to admit she needed help. A lot of help. She recruited her family, her friends, got herself a trainer...and she knew sharing all of this with anyone interested in following along would help her. Putting the good, the bad, and the sometimes really ugly out there would allow this overwhelming support to come into her life - - and she needed all of it.
Because although there is a very large contingent that believes surgery is the easy way out - and I will shamefully admit I used to somewhat belong to that camp - I now realize that is just absolute bullshit. Many of the hardest times I can remember - the most challenging emotionally - have been since I walked through those doors of the bariatric department at Methodist/Park Nicollet Hospital. Between the 3 weeks of liquid diet and the strict diet for the numerous months after my surgery - - this shit was HARD!!! Now, yes - carrying 495# around was hard as well...but I'm simply stating this process is no walk in the park.
But is it worth it? In my humble opinion, it is totally worth it. It has been, and continues to be, totally worth it! The results I have had have so far exceeded what I thought was possible. Prior to surgery, I was hopeful to get where I was at the 6 month mark (those pictures from 10/2016). I weighed 317# at that point. I'd lost 178 pounds, and was feeling damn near spry. I know I picked 225# as my goal on this ap that I use - but I truly thought there was no chance I'd get there. I thought maybe after skin removal, and if I really kept working out...I could potentially get in the vicinity - - but honestly!!! I cannot wrap my head around what is happening here!
Loose skin Video
I know describing this experience as "weird" is completely over-simplifying - - but I honestly don't know how to accurately convey what is quite simply, disbelief.
I feel all of the things you'd likely guess I feel: fortunate, blessed, better, healthier, more lively, more mobile....but I also feel loved and supported and more empathetic and kinder (a little bit =)) and empowered and worthy and excited and stronger - physically & emotionally.
I cannot wait to see what the next year and a half has in store.
