355 Calorie Pizza!?!? It is true!

I knew the day was coming.... and it finally arrived.  The days (sad that it was plural) where I didn't want to do anything.  I didn't want to go to the gym.  I didn't want to eat well.  I didn't want to do any of things I am supposed to do.  I was cranky, I wanted to eat french fries, and I wanted to sit on my couch all day.  It was that horrible former personality rearing her ugly/lazy head.  I was less than pleased to see her.  Starting Monday, I begrudgingly at well during the day (luckily I didn't have any bad options in my house, or I am certain I would have lost that battle!) and walked in the pool, and then on Tuesday my friend Linda helped me out by being able to go to water aerobics (I am certain I wouldn't have motivated enough to do it on my own).  I treated myself to a grilled cheese (using 50% light cheese and whole wheat bread - so it was still better than it could have been) for dinner.  By Wednesday morning I was feeling much better, and was somewhat proud of myself for not completely bailing on everything I am trying to do.  In the past I would have ordered pizza, sat on my couch and done nothing.  Sensatalie is here to stay!

One of the treats my nutritionist at the DFC told me about, was a pizza made on a whole wheat tortilla.  I am not going to lie to you - I was more than a little skeptical that this would be something I would like.  I figured the tortilla would taste kind of gross, and it wouldn't be anything like Carbone's (shout out to the greatest pizza EVER!).  I mean - obviously, healthier options are not going to be like delicious non-healthy pizza - but I was sure it was going to be gross.  Definitely not capable of tricking me into thinking I was eating pizza.  I was wrong!  It was SO GOOD!!  And it was only 355 calories!  The sodium was higher than I eat for most of my meals, but also much lower than eating regular pizza - so I have to count that as a win!  Here is the calorie breakdown:

• 170 calories - whole wheat tortilla (cook in a 400 degree oven for 2-4 minutes on each side, until it is crispy.  When using a toaster oven, it took a bit longer)  Make sure it is crispy!  This will save it from having that gross raw tortilla taste!  When it is toasted on both sides, add the following:
• 35 calories - 1/4 cup Prego pasta sauce (I just use pasta sauce, rather than having to buy pizza and pasta sauce)
• 70 calories - turkey pepperoni.  You get 17 slices for only 70 calories, and it is GOOD!
• 80 calories - 1/3 cup part-skim mozzerella cheese
• I was contemplating adding peppers - but wanted to give it one try this way before I messed with it.  Adding any veggies you like to this is like zero calories - so go for it!
• I cooked it for about 15 minutes in my toaster oven at 400 degrees.  Just until the cheese was melted and golden brown.

If you make sure to cook the tortilla before hand, it is super crunchy - like delicious thin crust pizza!  I was shocked by how good it was!  LOVE IT.

Hope things are going well for all of you!  I'll try to get back on track with updating this blog.  I just went through a few days where I had to use my focus on trying not to eat crap, and move my rear! 

The World is Trying to Help!

Maybe I have developed an extreme case of narcissistic behavior.  Or maybe I was just blind to everything that was going on prior to my stint at FC?  But it seems like the world has jumped on the "healthy living" bandwagon!  I have always watched Biggest Loser - but I have discovered a few new shows that really speak to me and my current situation!  It seems like even "regular" shows are having story lines about weight.  I was watching "Rules of Engagement" (so funny, by the way) the other day, and Jennifer (who is far from overweight) was trying to drop a few pounds before her wedding.  Her fiance Adam put a lock on the "treat" cupboard (who hasn't wanted to do the same?) and came home to find that she had dismantled the lock with her bare hands because she could "smell the donuts".  Oh how many times I have been in a similar situation!  The chips call to me.  The ice cream taunts me.  It made me giggle quite a bit.

I have also started watching the show "Ruby".  I believe it has been on for a few season already, but I am just tuning in now.  It is about a lady from Savannah, GA who used to weigh 716 pounds.  She is now down to around 320ish.  She has trainers, a psychologist, doctor, a group she actually refers to as "fat group" etc - and the show follows her through her daily activities.  Some of the things she has said are like she is in my brain!  When she would look in the mirror, even when she was at her heaviest, she didn't see herself as big as was.  She had to ask her friends on one episode if she used to eat excessive amounts of food - and they said she just made horrible "choices".  What they didn't see is that she would have some people who would smuggle food in for her to eat in private.  Mine wasn't that extreme - but I would eat more in private than I would in public.  The last episode had her psychologist interviewing her friends about how much their lives have changed now that Ruby has lost so much weight.  It broke my heart a little bit when they talked about how they would pick restaurants based on the chairs (so Ruby could fit into them) and how they would do extra things, because it would take her so much longer to try and do it.  It hit a little too close to home.  I am hoping this life overhaul will make me a little bit less of a nuisance. 

I also watched "Jamie Oliver's:Food Revolution" last weekend.  It is basically a show where Jamie is trying to get the world to understand that they should stop eating crap.  Hospital workers, factory workers, students.... teaching 1000 people how cook a healthy dish.  Working with the schools to get them to start feeding the students healthier food.  I wish there were a bigger component about the actual cooking/recipes - but the premise of the show is exactly what I am trying to get myself to do.  Eat better, feel better.  It is pretty interesting.

I love it when I feel like things I love (TV) are supporting what I am trying to do in life!  Like it is there to support me.  Perfect.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Cravings

I have been having a serious burger craving for what seems like forever.  Before I went to FC, burgers were an extremely standard staple if my horrible diet.  Like almost daily, and sometimes twice.  I hadn't had one since I went to FC 2 months ago.  For the last week or two, a burger is all I could think about.  In an effort to derail this particular craving, I looked up nutrition information for a few of my favorites: Culvers Butterburger Deluxe Double, Big Mac and Double Cheeseburger from BK.  The calorie count was a bit ridiculous, but even more than that - the sodium level was off the charts!!!  One burger had the same amount of sodium as I had in an entire day at the DFC.  I decided making my own was the way to go.

After going to water aerobics yesterday (there is a different teacher on Tuesday & Thursdays - and she is AWESOME!  Kept us moving the whole time - very different from the last teacher, Diego Bonita) I made myself a burger at home.  I bought the 93/7 ground beef and pepperjack cheese.  I made the burger on my George Forman grill, only seasoned it with pepper and used Arnold's sandwich thins (I managed to not double them up this time like I accidentally did the first time I used them!) to cut some of the calories, sodium and grease.  I put a little bit of mayo, a few pickles and some honey mustard on it.  I am not going to lie to you - that burger was delicious!  Instead of sucking down some french fries with it, I had it with steamed broccoli.  I am not going to try and tell you I preferred the broccoli, but it also wasn't that bad.  The burger was the highlight.  I have realized I had another very bizarre (or maybe not so bizarre, but very irritating) habit I needed to break - I had specific pairings.  Burgers always need to go with Fries.  Sandwiches always need chips.  Every meal is better with soda.  I have learned now that I was just conditioned to put those things together.  You can still very much enjoy your meal without the crap I typically believed I needed to enjoy it.

      Now that I got myself a super-sweet pair of water shoes (similar to the ones on the left, but only black and white) I have been doing a lot more walking in the pool.  My body appreciates the break from the treadmill.  I have shed some lbs, so the treadmill is much easier than it used to be - but I still have a lot to haul around.  Water alleviates the pressure on my knees, and keeps me from feeling like such a sweaty mess.  I typically go during the early afternoon, and tend to see the same people there most days.  One of the older guys I see almost every time I am there asked me "how long do you go?" on Monday .  I assumed he meant how long do I typically walk, so I told him I usually walk about an hour.  His reply?  "Good for you!".  It made me think of my time at the DFC, when the elders felt it was their duty to monitor and comment on my exercising.  I am not sure he completely understood the smile that caused - but it made me giggle a bit, remembering Howard from the DFC.

Well - I am off to the gym.  Hope you are all having a great day. 

Are you having any cravings you think you could make healthier?

Safe Haven

While I was at the DFC, they repeatedly said that your home needs to be a safe haven.  You shouldn't have your trigger foods in your house.  You shouldn't have things in your home that you may not be able to stay away from.  Basically, you shouldn't have food in your house that you will inevitably eat, and not stop (for me - pizza and chips, for sure!).  Put a large pizza in front of me - it is as good as gone.  If I open a bag of chips (and I am talking the large bag, not the smaller 1-2 serving bag) - I could eat the entire thing!!  Even if I am full, I will keep plugging away (I am so dedicated!!) 

I decided today was the day to make my house "safe".  I know - a little late, since I have been home for 4 weeks (HOLY CRAP!!  I've been home for 4 weeks!).  I went to Sam's Club for some veggies and fruit this morning.  Then I spent some time doing my (least) favorite thing  - food prep.  After that I took on the task of emptying out my food cupboard.  Let me tell you - you would not believe the things I found in that cupboard!  I found things that expired as far back as 2004.  I am not lying to you!  That means that I have probably moved it TWICE without looking at the expiration date.  I bought it, packed it, unpacked it, etc - two times!  It just went to show me how much my shopping has changed!  Everything I have purchased since coming home from FC has been eaten, or thrown when it expired.  In addition to that - it has been stuff I am supposed to be eating!!  I replace what runs out.  I don't buy things I don't need.  I don't buy things I won't/shouldn't eat.  My cupboards are almost bare!  I am down to nothing left.  Once I threw out everything that was expired (so gross!) and the things I can no longer eat (Mackenzie inherited the few things that weren't expired, that she might eat) I have about 10 things left in my cupboard.

I did have one indulgence this weekend.  I went out with some friends last night, and I had french fries.  I hadn't had french fries in 8+ weeks.  I have an inappropriate amount of love for french fries.  I love them.  I mean, I LOVE them.  Fried deliciousness!!  I split an order with a friend at our favorite bar.  I am not going to lie to you!  They were delicious.  I enjoyed every one of them.  But once again, I was able to reign it back in this morning, and get back to making decent choices about food. 

It is amazing how empowered I feel, now.  The rational part of my brain knows I always was in charge of the decisions I made about food.  But it is an area of my life I never felt like I was in charge of.  I was hungry, so I needed to eat.  My brain wanted delicious (usually something fried, salty and smothered in cheese) and I thought they only way to feel satisfied was to eat crap.  And that is exactly what it is - crap.  The things I craved held little nutritional value, and usually weren't not particularly filling because they were so processed.  I legitimately thought I wouldn't be satisfied if I didn't eat what my brain (and rumbling stomach) said I was craving.  Now that I am eating more fruits, vegetables, whole grains - you know.... all of that stuff they have on that silly food pyramid.  Who would have thought that would actually be helpful?!?!  That the people who are much more educated than myself in healthy eating would actually be right?  How bizarre!  Don't get me wrong - pizza, fried foods, desserts - will always be on "my" food pyramid, but they are now the smallest tiny triangle at the top.     

I hope you all had a great weekend, and here's to making your home your "safe haven"!

16 Ounces

On April 7th, after weighing myself, I set a goal.  I wanted to lose 6 pounds last week.  It would have brought me to an even 50 - and I liked the idea of being able to say I had lost 50 pounds in 7 weeks.  It had a nice ring to it.  I tried to be good - ignoring the overwhelming desire for a greasy cheeseburger, didn't drink this weekend and tried to keep my butt moving.

I weighed in Wednesday, hoping for that 6 pound loss.  It started out at 6, then went to 4, then settled on 5.  Five pounds lost.  Not 6.  I have lost a total of 49 pounds.  In 7 weeks.  As much as I was disappointed in the fact that I didn't reach my goal, it is really hard to stay sad for very long.  I have never lost that amount of weight, in that amount of time.  I feel great.  I can do things I could not 7 weeks ago.  I want to exercise rather than avoiding it, because it was uncomfortable and on occasion painful.  I am happy.  I am content.  I am motivated.  One pound is not going to change that. 

Not much else going on.  Went to the gym for an hour of walking in the pool in my sexy new water shoes.  They are ugly as they come, but they keep my feet from getting sliced up - so I will take it!

Short and sweet today.  Have a great night, everyone!

The Apology

For those of you that have been with me since the beginning - you may remember the story about my "Fat Intervention".  My sister Wendy had to lead the charge.  She is also the one that did the initial research, to find me some Fat Camp options.  She did a lot of work.  It took me a few weeks, after the initial FI, to tone down my sass and embrace this opportunity.  In my defense, I was trying to figure out how to relay to all friends and family (and eventually strangers) that I was going to FC - and the anticipation of having to do this was making me want to throw up.  Those first few conversations with friends/family were brutal.  I wasn't sure how people would react, and I was nervous.  Me being nervous tends to result in even more sarcastic/sassy comments.  It is my defense mechanism.  If you don't feel comfortable, just get pissed!  Seems like a super-healthy way to deal with your emotions - right?  No worries, everyone.  I am working on it.  I think I have chilled out considerably in the weeks since I left for FC. 

My sister Wendy just happened to be along with me, when I told my first friend about my upcoming trip to Duke.  She didn't have a lot of appreciation for my re-enactment of the FI - and went so far as to tell me she would be expecting an apology and a hug when my life was amazing.  After informing me that "you have turned into someone I don't even know" (because things that used to drive me crazy, and make me cranky - no longer affect me.  I am taking that as a positive change?) Wendy said she was about ready for her apology.  I think she has waited long enough.  I can't give her the hug over this blog - but I figured I could give her the very public apology she deserves.

Wendy - I would like to apologize for every eye roll, every snarky comment, every time I mocked the "love you" intervention.  I realize that you did it for me - did it for me to have a better life than I was accomplishing on my own.  As much as I would have liked to believe I could do it on my own, I couldn't.  I suspect the time leading up to the FI/LYI was extremely unpleasant, and having to be the one to start the speech had to have been horrible.  I cannot express how grateful I am to you for being willing to risk me never speaking to you again (Did you really think I would be that mad?  How would that even be possible?!?!) in order to save me.  I feel like you, Ken, mom, dad & Mackenzie did save me.  I can do things already that I never would have been able to, or tried to do, before.  I am only getting started on my new life as "Sensatalie" and I already feel like I have so many options that weren't available to me before FC.  You did that, and as I said before - that is way bigger than taking that baby and telling you to go shower.  I am hopeful that one day I will figure out a way to repay you, although I don't know that an opportunity that big will present itself.  I love you, and I appreciate you - and I apologize for being a bitch.  I'm working on that. =)   

5K, Mexican Night & a Birthday Party

Back in 2004 (yes - SIX years ago) I did the MS Walk with a few friends - we walked 8 miles in St. Paul.  That was a lot of years, and a LOT of pounds ago.  In 2004 I was at my lowest weight....that I can remember.  It was the year my sister Wendy got married - and I had been doing Weight Watchers and had a personal trainer with my friend Stephanie.  Sarge really whipped the 2 of us into shape (or as close to "in shape" that I can remember being since high school - when I was in sports).  It is staggering, shocking and really sad when I actually allowed myself to think about the amount of weight I have gained since then.  In 6 years, I gained about 140 pounds.  That is disgusting, and a really difficult piece of information to digest.  I sat on my couch for 6 years.  I didn't exercise my way to 140 additional pounds.  I made bad food choices, which resulted in a huge weight gain!  Yikes.  It is amazing what you can ignore when your brain is trying to protect you.  Seriously - I registered that I wasn't in good shape, and that I wore larger clothes - but never put the actual number on it until Saturday.  Wow.  I need to do whatever I can to insure that never happens, again.

That being said, I did the Girl Scout Walk & Wheel 5K in Northfield.  (I had another realization - I have VERY few shirts that don't mention booze in some way!  I wore my new FC t-shirt)  Shout out to the Huntington sisters for allowing me to set the pace (which I am sure was much slower than they would have walked without me), walking on the grass so I could stay on the sidewalk (easier!) and keeping me company on my longest walk in 6 years!!  It went better than I thought it would!  I was extremely sweaty, and developed a pretty nice blister - but otherwise left feeling great!  Much better than my last outdoor walking experience!  There was one participant who showed up late  - and there was no T-shirt for her.  I offered to donate mine, in an attempt to keep her from losing it (she had the look of someone who might "snap" easily - - you've seen someone like that, right?).  I kind of wanted to kick her down when she said she would wear my shirt "as a dress" because she wanted an XL, and mine was a 2XL - but part of my life overhaul is to be a kinder/gentler person - so I abstained.  Molly was kind enough to give me a size Large t-shirt, so I have something to aspire to.  I was going to get a pic of me in it now, an put it on here for all to see - but I don't have a photographer available, so you'll just have to wait!  (I know - the excitement is really building, I am sure!)

From there I ran a couple of errands and then headed to my parent's house to attempt to assist with the "Mexican Night" hysteria.  (Mexican Night is an annual party, thrown at my parent's house.  It is always an entertaining/drunken mess)  Everyone brings delicious snacks - so I didn't really set my self up for non-snacking success by not eating dinner (no time - too many "tests") but still did a pretty good job of avoiding over-indulging on cream cheese, cheese, sour cream, etc -based snacks.  I opted for staying sober - and thoroughly enjoyed watching this amazing event unfold from the sober throne.  I got to give a couple of rides home, and watched some really good dance performances. (my dad and my uncle Andy combined their efforts to "trick" out the garage with laptops, speakers and a projector - so they could play music videos on the wall.  Can you say DANCE PARTY!?!?!)  I think the highlight of the evening for me was when my brother-in-law was dancing with my sister to some Slaughter monster ballad and told her "go dance with Natalie - I have to pick the next video".  Thank you, Ken.  I was hoping I could slow dance with my sister to monster ballads.  Mexican night is complete. 

Today was my cousin Chase's 17th birthday party.  One more chance for me to try and not eat like a sow.  There was delicious pasta, a really good salad with strawberry dressing (made with cream) and of course dessert.  I ate enough to no longer feel hungry, but didn't go hog-wild.  I tried to hold it together.  On Easter I mentioned to Chase that when I get to my goal weight, I want to go sky-diving.  He said he is planning to go sky-diving on his 18th birthday.  I figure there is no better way to motivate myself than that, right?  April 14, 2011 - I am going sky-diving with Chase.  I can wear my large girl scout t-shirt, and celebrate the fact that I will be twice his age!  I better keep my rear moving!!

Tonight I met my friend Stephanie to do some body measurements.  We are going to re-measure ourselves every 2-3 weeks until the end of June.  In an effort to make sure we measure the same spot each time, I took some notes on where we measured.  There were terms such as "FUPA" (Fat Upper Pubic Area.  aka: gunt), "2 inches from the Gheen" and "1 inch from said FUPA".  Luckily, my sister Mackenzie was around to hear this take place, and I think we gave her some pretty good entertainment.  It is a challenge to insure you are doing everything you can to monitor your accomplishments!

Hope you all had a great weekend, and will have an even better week!

Thing I Love : Spandex

No... not biker shorts - although those are super-hot when guys wear them (complete with bike shoes) to lift weights at the gym.  I am talking about the spandex that some genius decided to incorporate into denim.  Ta-da!!  The birth of the stretch jean!!  They are truly a miracle.  If I ever find the person whose brainchild this was - I will kiss and hug them repeatedly!  Repeatedly, I tell you!!  I know there is a certain contingent that hates stretch jeans.  I believe those people are probably supes skinny, and are also the people who actually decide to buy jeans because they "look good" and "fit right".  I, on the other hand, tend to buy pants because I can get them over my over-sized arse.  I do not believe jeans are going to make me magically smaller - granted, I prefer the crotch doesn't hang to my knees - but other than that, my standard is pretty low.  Seriously - if they fit, I buy them. 

I have been having a bit of a jeans dilema lately.  The jeans I had prior to FC (which had a small amount of wiggle room before I went) now come down without unbuttoning them.  The one pair of smaller jeans I have been wearing, are very worn out - and just not going to work.  Needing a new pair of jeans, I went to the store with the size I needed in mind.  Because luck is typically on my side (please sense the facetiousness of that statement) they had only one pair in the size I need - and they were covered in paint splatters (Why!??!?  Why?!?!?!  Why?!??!).  Being so used to not bothering to try on jeans in the store - I left empty-handed.  Today I went to another location, and finding one really ugly pair of the size I believed I need - I surrendered.  I decided to try them on, and make sure it was the size I needed.  I got into the changing room - and there were a lot of pairs of the size smaller hanging in there.  I decided to live on the edge and try them on.  OMG!!!  The size smaller totally fit!!  What in the world!?!!?!  I was completely shocked!!  It would seem that my brain might need to catch up, and adjust.

Tomorrow I am doing my first 5K.  That might sound more impressive than it is going to be.  I will be WALKING a 5K tomorrow. (and by walking, I mean walking slowly)  It is supporting Girl Scouts - so at least I am doing something better to support them than shoveling Samoas into my face.  Well - better for me, anyway. 

What is one "Thing You Love"?

Moderation

From day one of FC we heard "everything in moderation".  You can still eat everything you want to eat.  You can have a burger.  You can have pizza.  You can have french fries.  You just can't have them every day, or for every meal!  I listened to what they were saying, and hoped it could be true.  They suggested trying to adjust the rest of your day, to allow room for some of the extra calories from the "off program" items.  On Monday, I tried to follow what I was told.  I ate less throughout the day, to allow for the pizza I knew I would be having that evening.  After the pizza I had on Monday, I was nervous for my "weigh in" this week.

Wednesday is still weigh in night.  I do it while I am cleaning my former office.  I have weighed in each of the last three weeks (OMG!  I have been home almost 3 weeks now!), and my weight has gone down each week.  I was more than a little nervous for this week.  I had dinner out on Friday (the Feta cheese and hummus platter from a local restaurant - YUM!!!) and Monday (the formerly mentioned pizza extravaganza), plus it was Easter on Sunday.  Lots of things I didn't know the exact nutritional content of.  I did try to make sure to keep moving my rear - so that was the one thing I felt I controlled this week. 

It seems that the information given at FC was correct.  The scale went down this week!  It went down more than last week!  I was shocked, and amazed....and elated!  I have continued to lose weight each week since being home.  I suspect that may not seem that impressive to anyone who isn't me, or anyone who hasn't watched me yo-yo diet out of control repeatedly.  I have lost weight 7 weeks in a row!  It is awesome.  I still haven't felt like I am being deprived.  I haven't had a huge binge.  I am doing this.  It kind of makes me smile a lot!  I feel empowered!  I feel unstoppable.  I feel like I am in charge of my life for the first time in a long time, and I love it.

On a workout note - I went to the gym today and walked for 40 minutes and then attempted (seriously - attempted is the best description I could come up with regarding my performance) a "latin fusion" class with a friend.  I forgot to bring a water bottle with me.  I sweat a LOT - and soaked 2 shirts during this gym visit.  Since getting home, I have had nearly 1 gallon of water.  For reals y'all - I had myself quite dehydrated!  I have to be better about monitoring my water intake.  When I don't drink enough water, my internal organs start to hurt! 

Have a great night everyone!  I am off to have dessert - a bottle of diet orange crush.  Yum!

The New Office?

Yesterday, I went to walk in the pool at the gym.  I had a few peculiar sightings (not the least of which was me, going in the pool with my socks on - - but more about that later) - but my favorite was the lady who was lounging on the bench when I walked in, talking on her cell phone.  She then moved to the hot tub...continuing to talk on her phone!  I also saw a man bring his cell phone into the sauna with him.  It made me wonder: is the pool area at the gym the new office?  If so, maybe another office job wouldn't be so bad for me? =)  I did read the numerous lists of rules while walking yesterday.  It does not list anywhere on there that you shouldn't talk on your phone.  It does have some entertaining rules - here were a couple of my favorites:

• Absolutely "NO SHAVING" in the sauna.  Eww.  Seriously - who thought they should shave in the sauna, thereby causing it to be added to the list of rules?  Gross.  Gross.  Gross.
• Do not go in the hot tub with "OPEN SORES".  Thank you LifeTime Fitness for recognizing that that is unacceptable.  I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

When I went to a water aerobics class at LTF a couple of times before FC, everyone was wearing water shoes.  I giggled to myself, and wondered how these were completely necessary.  They looked like real tennis shoes, but are made for water (or so we were told).  I figured they were about as necessary as the microphone our instructor was wearing. (our teacher would wear the microphone head set, complete with battery pack around his waist - but it DIDN'T WORK!!!  Hysterical.  Or at least it was to me.)  I have finally had to come to terms with the fact that I require water shoes for walking in the pool.  (I know - it is SUPER sexy to wear shoes with your swimsuit - but luckily, I look pretty hot to start with so it is just a sweet accent at this point.)  Something horrible happens to the bottom of my feet when I walk for long periods of time in the pool.  They HURT!  So I am finally biting the bullet, and going to get some water shoes.  It is going to look ridiculous, but it is the price I have to pay.  Sometimes, when your body is not tiny, walking in the pool seems like your best option.  It is easier on your joints, you don't get so sweaty, but you are still burning some pretty serious calories.  Who doesn't love that?!?  My feet, don't love it.

I am off for my first (I am assuming there will be many) gym date with my sister Wendy.  I informed her, after FI, that she would be required to join me at the gym on occasion.  Although I am not needing a major help with my motivation at this point - it will still be nice to hang out.  I am assuming we will be discussing her new business venture idea for me.  Wendy, forever the saleslady, wants to create flyers for me.  We will then go through neighborhoods and tell people about me - I just went to FC for 4 weeks, got canned, and am now trying to work on getting in shape while mowing lawns.  I am not completely sold on this idea - but I am thinking her enthusiasm is infectious, and I will get sucked in eventually.  If any of you know of someone who would be interested in hiring someone to mow their lawn, please have them contact me - my email is on this blog.  It may save me going through neighborhoods trying to sell my services, and I would be eternally grateful!  The one requirement is, they must have their own lawn mower.  I don't have one - and I also don't have the coordination to pull a lawn mower behind a bike while it is tied to a rope anyway!

Maybe I should look into getting one of these?  I could really get so fast!! 




 Have a great day, all!!  Enjoy the sunshine!

35 is the New Awesome!!

Yesterday was my 35th birthday.  I typically coordinate my own birthday party (totally the way to go - you are guaranteed to get to do exactly what you want!!), and have named it "Drunken Dancing".  I started that tradition on my 29th birthday, and have had one each year.  With the numerous changes being made in this life of mine, I didn't think an all-out drunken mess of a night was what I wanted to do this year.  Instead, my friends asked what I wanted to do - and I had only one thing in mind: go out for dinner at Carbone's.  I have had Carbone's on the brain since the potato-chip-in-four-bites session at FC.  During that class, we had to visualize eating our favorite food - and mine was Carbone's pizza.  I hadn't had pizza in 6+ weeks.  That may not seem like much to many of you, but let me assure you - it is an amazing record for me, and by about 5 weeks!  I ate my pizza with non-stop permagrin.  My friends, sisters and parents were kind enough to join me.  Eating pizza while enjoying the NCAA national championship game (OMG - that game was amazing!) = a great birthday!

I am certain the people at FC, or anyone else that has been educated in helping people lose weight, would tell you that using food as a reward or focusing on food as the major part of a celebration is not what you should do.  I understand that I shouldn't.  I also feel like the number of the times where food is the focus for me has decreased drastically!  I haven't gone completely off the wagon since starting FC.  I have made, what I believe to be, very controlled choices with food - even when out to eat.  I wanted pizza for my birthday.  I adjusted my food intake for the day to allow a little extra wiggle room (I am certain it probably wasn't enough to completely make up for the pizza I ate - but I made an effort.).  One of the ladies at the DFC said that changing one thing you would normally do, is progress.  I did that, and to me - that makes it OK.  And the shocker?  I didn't wake up thinking "well - I went off the program last night, so I might as well have another blow-out for breakfast!  If I am going to blow it, it might as well all be at the same time!" - which is typically what I have done in the past.  One bad meal turned into 2, and two turned into 10, and that turned into 2 years of sitting around, and eating like crap. 

It seems completely bizarre to me that my outlook on things, the way my brain processes my options, the way I respond to situations, can change so much in 6 weeks - but they have all changed!  And I am shocked each time I look at a situation, and am able to make better decisions.  It is so unlike me!  Or, rather, it is so unlike the old me.  I'll have to work on coming up with a name for my former personality (my self-destructive personality)! =)  

 I had another shocker yesterday at the gym.  I went to do some stretching after my weight session with Stephanie, and decided to give sitting cross-legged (I think we used to refer to it as "Indian Style" when I was younger - but I am guessing that has gone away with the dawn of the PC revolution?) like the lady at the left (without the black belt in Karate) - and I could do it!!!  I know I was in fat pants (sweat pants) - so I am not sure I could do it in unforgiving/restrictive jeans, but I DID IT!!  Sitting that way kind of hurt my knees a bit - but it was worth it!!  I haven't been able to do that in..... like a hundred years?!?!  I know it is completely impossible to understand if you have never been so big you couldn't do these things - but each time I can do something new I want to do a victory dance (shout out to everyone who has had to witness that before)!


All-in-all, it was a great birthday!  35 is the new awesome, and it is off to a great start.  Thank you everyone who helped me celebrate!

Do you have any name ideas for my previous personality?  I think it would be nice if she had a name.

Easter: the first Holiday

I was slightly concerned that the day of the Easter Bunny would prove to be a complete food nightmare.  It is my first holiday back after FC, and I was happy it was Easter, and not Thanksgiving!  Easter doesn't seem to be such a "food focused" holiday.  Granted - every holiday/get-together tends to turn into a food festival.  I was able to find a key distraction: The weather was gorgeous, which offered the option of being outside (aka: away from the food) in the sunshine - shout out to vitamin D!  There are a LOT of young and active kids to chase after as well!

I took small portions of my favorite things: ham, cheesy potatoes and scalped corn (I am talking SMALL portions) - and I realized I don't need a heaping plate of the fatty things!  My uncle Steve smoked chicken - it was delicious - seriously.  I ate a LOT of that, some veggies, and huge/delicious strawberries.  I took my time, and tried to avoid the dessert table.  My aunt Linda makes the most amazing pies - French Silk and Banana Creme are personal faves.  That tactic seemed to work.  By the time I was thinking I would just go grab one bite - they were gone.  Shout out to my family for eating them before I could get to them!  I have found that is you head outside as soon as you are done - you have a lower tendency to nibble.  Evacuating is the key to holiday success!

After spending Saturday helping strip cupboard doors (yay!  that project is nearing completion) for my friend Nina (shout out to Steve for helping!!) it was nice to have a tame day with the fam.  We got a good early start at sunrise service at church.  Shout out to Roger Krause for a fantastic temple talk.  He did a great job, and I felt fortunate that I was able to hold back the tears, and get a few giggles.  Although the eggs are no longer green, we went for breakfast in the fellowship hall.  It was great seeing so many people I hadn't seen in a couple of months.  I have also learned that the circle of people reading this blog is a lot wider than I thought it was!  I love that!  I also had a suggestion for a new career: stand up comedian.  I don't know if I think that would be a good fit - but I think it is a fun suggestion!  I will definitely keep that in mind as I try to figure out what to do next.

All-in-all it was a great weekend!  It was so nice to catch up with everyone, and get some new career leads.  Do you have a new career suggestion for me?  I'd love to hear them!