35 is the New Awesome!!

Yesterday was my 35th birthday.  I typically coordinate my own birthday party (totally the way to go - you are guaranteed to get to do exactly what you want!!), and have named it "Drunken Dancing".  I started that tradition on my 29th birthday, and have had one each year.  With the numerous changes being made in this life of mine, I didn't think an all-out drunken mess of a night was what I wanted to do this year.  Instead, my friends asked what I wanted to do - and I had only one thing in mind: go out for dinner at Carbone's.  I have had Carbone's on the brain since the potato-chip-in-four-bites session at FC.  During that class, we had to visualize eating our favorite food - and mine was Carbone's pizza.  I hadn't had pizza in 6+ weeks.  That may not seem like much to many of you, but let me assure you - it is an amazing record for me, and by about 5 weeks!  I ate my pizza with non-stop permagrin.  My friends, sisters and parents were kind enough to join me.  Eating pizza while enjoying the NCAA national championship game (OMG - that game was amazing!) = a great birthday!

I am certain the people at FC, or anyone else that has been educated in helping people lose weight, would tell you that using food as a reward or focusing on food as the major part of a celebration is not what you should do.  I understand that I shouldn't.  I also feel like the number of the times where food is the focus for me has decreased drastically!  I haven't gone completely off the wagon since starting FC.  I have made, what I believe to be, very controlled choices with food - even when out to eat.  I wanted pizza for my birthday.  I adjusted my food intake for the day to allow a little extra wiggle room (I am certain it probably wasn't enough to completely make up for the pizza I ate - but I made an effort.).  One of the ladies at the DFC said that changing one thing you would normally do, is progress.  I did that, and to me - that makes it OK.  And the shocker?  I didn't wake up thinking "well - I went off the program last night, so I might as well have another blow-out for breakfast!  If I am going to blow it, it might as well all be at the same time!" - which is typically what I have done in the past.  One bad meal turned into 2, and two turned into 10, and that turned into 2 years of sitting around, and eating like crap. 

It seems completely bizarre to me that my outlook on things, the way my brain processes my options, the way I respond to situations, can change so much in 6 weeks - but they have all changed!  And I am shocked each time I look at a situation, and am able to make better decisions.  It is so unlike me!  Or, rather, it is so unlike the old me.  I'll have to work on coming up with a name for my former personality (my self-destructive personality)! =)  

 I had another shocker yesterday at the gym.  I went to do some stretching after my weight session with Stephanie, and decided to give sitting cross-legged (I think we used to refer to it as "Indian Style" when I was younger - but I am guessing that has gone away with the dawn of the PC revolution?) like the lady at the left (without the black belt in Karate) - and I could do it!!!  I know I was in fat pants (sweat pants) - so I am not sure I could do it in unforgiving/restrictive jeans, but I DID IT!!  Sitting that way kind of hurt my knees a bit - but it was worth it!!  I haven't been able to do that in..... like a hundred years?!?!  I know it is completely impossible to understand if you have never been so big you couldn't do these things - but each time I can do something new I want to do a victory dance (shout out to everyone who has had to witness that before)!


All-in-all, it was a great birthday!  35 is the new awesome, and it is off to a great start.  Thank you everyone who helped me celebrate!

Do you have any name ideas for my previous personality?  I think it would be nice if she had a name.