Germ-ish

My family, like many others out there, tends to make food priority number 2 (out-prioritized only by picking an actual date for the event).  Every get-together requires much planning, preparing, delegating, etc - all where food is concerned.  Movies and television have painted a picture of Italian families, and their lavish pasta-prevalent meals - entire tables filled with different dishes, and everyone eating together.  How many back-yard fiestas have I watched where Hispanic families all come together with table after table of delicious looking food: enchiladas, refried beans, rice, etc. 

My dad's family has similar traditions with food - every gathering has to have a menu.  My grandfather is German, my grandmother is Irish - so the best I could come up with for a name for us was...Germ-ish (Ir-an just wasn't working for me).  Apparently, based on the food selections last weekend, the foods for these combined countries are: butter, sour cream, cream cheese, mayo, sugar and cured meats - with a healthy dose of cheese (oh my God - I LOVE cheese) thrown in for good measure.  

We had our annual family trip (Family Fun Weekend, or FFW) up to Breezy Point resort last weekend.  I knew going in, it was going to be a challenge.  Partially because the the bad food far out-weighs the good, but also because I LOVE the bad food!  I tried my best to hold it together, and I think I did OK.  Not perfect, but OK - and really - what more could I have expected?  I tried to stick to eating, only at meal times (unless my option was fruit - shout out to Cherries!).  And when piling up my plate, attempted to keep the servings smaller than usual.  It was hard.  I had Granny's potato salad and Karlene's chicken salad - which are 2 of my faves - staring me in the face at every meal.  I avoided the deep fried taco shells, and opted for a chicken salad.  I only drank one of the days, opting for water on the others.  I even avoided the snacky crap (dips, chips and crackers).  Had my lovely sister Wendy not made multiple bags of crack mix (a bunch of things like crispix, goldfish crackers (only the sweet kinds) and other treats, all with a sweet glaze - and then m & m's thrown in for good measure.  It is SO delicious, and SO addicting) I would have been home free!! 

I had plans to get up and walk 2 of the mornings that we were up there, but when we had a 6:27am tee time on one of the days, I decided I didn't need to go walk at 5am to get it in.  I did go the other morning, in what felt like 900% humidity - so at least I felt like I did something! 

Since before I left for fat camp, I have been nervous about this vacation, because I know it is typically crap (delicious, but not nutritionally sound) food and a ton of booze.  That works just fine for the rest of my much tinier, much more fit family.  This is what all of that fat camp training was for.  Being responsible for myself and my decisions.  I can't expect the world around me to completely change and adapt to me - I have to do that for myself.  The weeks prior to going to FFW had been less than stellar for me - I wasn't making the best food decisions on my own.  It was time to reign it in, and I think I did a pretty good job while surrounded by temptation.  The great news is, it got me started on making better decisions - so I could carry that over to my return home.  I had completely cleaned out my fridge prior to leaving - and was determined to recreate my "safe haven" upon my return.  With no tubs of cheese, potatoes, etc staring me the face - I am happy to report that I am slowly but surely getting back on track. 

While at FC, they kept reinforcing the myth that this needed to be an all-or-nothing deal.  If I went off program for a while (or 2ish months) I was destined to fail, and might as well give up.  That had been my experience before FC.  If I wasn't able to do 100%, I might as well do zero.  They were right. 

I don't know what weight I have gained back, if any.  My clothes, for the most part, fit the same (and I have learned the importance of putting on real pants every once in a while to gauge.  Wearing sweats every day will throw you off).  My gym has a scale I could use, but it isn't digital - it is like the one on the left - and I just don't have it in me to stand there forever and mess with it!!  Maybe when I go back tomorrow?  I need to weigh myself, to help keep me motivated, but sometimes it just seems like the probability for mortification is too high....




So I have survived what I perceived to be my largest hurdle, and I have exceeded my own expectations.  What more can you really ask of yourself?  I am proud of myself!  I can be responsible for my own actions, and sometimes I am stronger than I think I am.