But I "earned" it!

I cannot seem to shut my "validation" switch off. I'm not sure if anyone else out there has this particular issue. It is that internal voice that tells you that if you do something good - no matter how small it may be - you are somehow entitled to a reward. I have it in many aspects of my life. It is a major part of what dug me into the financial hole I wrote about recently. But for this post I am talking about my workout vs. food issue.

I have heard it a thousand times - it is more about what you're putting into your body, than how much you exercise. As much as I keep trying to prove that isn't true, unfortunately it is. But how do I stop my brain from telling me it's OK to reward myself with fat/sugar/salt for a job well done? The "I worked out really hard today, so it's OK to have cheese curds" or the "I'm having a salad instead of a burger, so I can pile anything I want on top of it....it's still a better choice". I can rationalize just about anything in this brain of mine. Now that I am actually working out more than I had been recently, this validation/reward issue is really back with a fury! Every day I heard: I did "x" miles today, so it is OK to get tacos and potato oles. I'm an idiot. Or actually - Remus is an idiot. I blame him. I need to get some duct tape to shut him up.

It went on for about a week, and then it dawned on me (again)...why the hell am I busting my ass at the gym, to immediately eliminate any benefit with what I shove in my mouth? Wouldn't it be nice to see a reflection of the work I'm doing at the gym on the scale? So yesterday I went out and got my fridge and pantry stocked with healthy vittle options.

Apparently, I need to put myself on a shopping schedule as well, I guess. One day a week I need to stock up. I abhor the grocery store (and I'm a poet and didn't know it) - so I tend to put it off. It's just easier to stop and grab something on the way home from the gym. But when I have healthy food on hand, I tend to eat it.

YUMMO!!

 

I remember them preaching at FC that it comes down to planning - and I have not been. It is time start. I've never been a person who planned out their week of meals, and then shopped for them. I've been a "fly-by-the-seat-of-my-plus-sized-pants-and-hope-when-push-comes-to-shove-I'll-make-a-good-decision" type of girl. Why I still believe that is possible in spite of the 1239834 times I've proven it doesn't work for me, is beyond me.

My biggest issue is: I wait to long to eat, and then want something immediately. When I don't have anything healthy on hand to whip up quick, I make bad decisions. So I'm also going to try and put myself on more of an eating schedule too - so it doesn't get to the point where I'd like to eat my arm, and go for the first thing I can find.

Yesterday was my first run. I did pretty well - except I forgot the noodles for one of my dishes. Otherwise I have three "entrees" planned - that have leftovers I'll actually eat. I have eggs, english muffins, laughing cow, peppers, yogurt and fruit for breakfast (that is usually my largest meal at this point). I bought some 160 calorie chocolate oatmeal (it was really good once I let it cool down a little bit. It doesn't taste as good when you're worried about burning all of the skin off the inside of your mouth - which I think is weird! =)) to have as a snack, or a rush breakfast. I loaded up on string cheese. I have all of the fixins for protein shakes. I got a big bag of pistachios to snack on. I got lettuce to make myself salads (without 600 calories worth of stuff on top =)). I am prepared - which for me is way more than half the battle!

I have already had one small victory. I'm watching my nephew today (he has a fever and is banned from daycare) and I was on the verge of ordering a pizza - but I talked myself out of it.

Now that I appear to have gotten myself in the mode of getting my miles in - no matter if it takes two back-to-back days of hell like last week,or not - it is time to get just as serious and dedicated about what I'm throwing at my face.

How do you guys make sure you eat healthy? Do you plan? Do you have a routine? Do you prep? Do you just know you'll make good decisions? Do you just hope for the best?