Feeling Almost Human Again

It's no secret to most that I've been having a rough time lately. The rules, restrictions, schedules...all of it...were breaking me down. So when my friend Mark, who had the same surgery I did about 2 years before me, asked if I was free for dinner I decided it was time. It was time to take my hammock out for it's first visit to a restaurant.

My first feeling was total excitement. I haven't been out to eat in 3 months. Everything has been shakes, and milk, and things I could make on my own here at home. It felt like such a huge thing to just be able to go out and get something to eat! That lasted for about a minute - - and then the dread kicked in. What if the food doesn't agree with me? What if I get sick in the restaurant? What if I eat to fast/don't chew enough/blah, blah, blah??

So I did what I could - I picked a restaurant that had an item made of things on my current "approved foods" list. I'd leave off the things I wasn't supposed to have yet. I knew if I went to Las Tortillas here in Rosemount, I'd likely be OK with the Chile Rellano, modified a bit. It normally comes with rice on the side, but there would be none of that for me. It's basically a pepper w/ shredded chicken, cheese and an amazing sauce of some sort. It also comes with black beans on the side. PROTEIN!!! It does come with a light batter on it - but figured I'd ask them to leave that off too. 

No chips, removed batter and still 2 meals left over!

When I arrived there were already chips and salsa on the table. My human stomach would have put down a couple of baskets without even batting an eye. I knew before I went that I was going to try and avoid them all together. With such limited space in my hammock, I didn't want to hog any up with chips - it honestly just didn't seem worth it. Now I've had really good plans before, and have failed miserably. Tonight I was honestly shocked at the fact that avoiding the chips took no effort at all! I wasn't even interested, which is great since they are most definitely not on my approved food list.

I ordered my main course without the rice, and asked them to leave off the batter. They do make them in advance, so the batter can't be removed. No biggie - I just took it off when my plate arrived. I ate pepper, chicken, cheese and black beans until I was content. Didn't over-do it, so I wasn't miserable. I waited 30 minutes after eating before I had anything to drink (the LONGEST 30 minutes ever). I followed my food list. I was more than satisfied with the amount I ate. Everything went great! Panic was for nothing! And I have leftovers!!

The best part - - I felt normal again. Yes, I made good decisions while I was there - which is pretty great for me - and I got to enjoy some delicious food - - but I got to go do something I had taken for granted not that long ago. And I needed to take a break - even if it was a small/modified break - from the non-stop rules/regulations/schedule of my hammock. My emotional state needed this the most, and I'm so happy to have my virgin restaurant run out of the way!

Now I go see my dietician tomorrow - and I think I get to add peanut butter and tomatoes to my diet. Things are really on the upswing around here!!