Once Every 7 Seconds

No. I'm not talking about how the classic reference to how often men think about sex. It isn't nearly as much fun as that. What I'm talking about is the frequency with which it seems I think about food. It would appear so far that by finally owning the "emotional" component to my eating, I'm now going to be faced with ALL of my food issues. This should be a fun winter.

Admittedly, there are times where my thoughts of food are much more infrequent - but right now, it is too damn often! I didn't really realize how much time I devoted to food. By the time you factor in: making my grocery list, shopping, thinking about what to have for my next meal, talking myself out of whatever it is I want for my next meal, bargaining with myself to get to have at least part of what I originally wanted, calculating the caloric/fat/sodium damage that will do to my daily allowance, tracking what I'm eating, preparing what I'm going to eat, and actually eating - it's like 23 hours a day! A slight exaggeration, but you get what I mean.

this is funny because it's true

This is a problem. But how do I shut it off? It's like people that smoke or drink. I now understand how much time they probably dedicate to figuring out how to get more of what they're addicted to into their system. If guys really do spend that much time thinking about sex, how the hell do they actually get anything done...wait....I think that explains some things. =)

I knew I had a food fixation...obviously...one does not develop this smokin' physique without staying on task - but I didn't really realize how often I think about it. I was washing my car on Sunday. I wasn't hungry in the least. But I found myself thinking about Cheetos. And then rationalizing how I deserved to have them - - I was burning calories washing my car (like 12 of them) - so I deserved a treat (a "single serving" bag is probably like 400-500 calories). That math doesn't quite work out. But even more disturbing was stopping and thinking about how often I could recall thinking about food that day. That's not even counting the times I had forgotten about. And don't worry - I wasn't going to get my freshly cleaned car dirty by going to get chips!

I think it's better when I'm at work. I have my lunch there, so I know what I'm having. It's now freezing and winter, so cost/benefit analysis is too weighted in the cost column to actually leave work to get anything. So work days are a piece of cake - right? Wrong. Today someone brought in doughnuts. And a vendor brought in an entire bag of mini-candy bars. Guess what entered my mind...frequently...all afternoon? It is so damn annoying!!

The good news is that so far I've been able to control myself..so far. It helps that I'm not actually "hungry" because I'm actually planning out my calories for the day, and spreading them out. But I'm like a little kid. Tell me I can't (or shouldn't) have something, and it's all I can think about! I'm going to try and continue to be strong, and not waste entire days focusing on food. And if that doesn't work, I'll look into the return of the labotomy.

On a sad note, I just heard from my sister that they had to put her dog to sleep. I am not a total lover of animals, but I did love Reg. He was the best 80 pound lap dog, ever. He was a good boy, and was just so damn happy to see you every time you walked in.
I'm just hoping that he's somewhere running really fast, because he loved it - and always looked like he was smiling when he did it. I'll try to smile through my next workout in his honor.
RIP Reginald Martin

I'm On The Radar

This week has been crazy! First it started out with crazy hot temps (103 degrees on Tuesday), now it is like 60 degrees on Thursday evening. But, this is Minnesota - what else would we have to do if we couldn't bitch about the weather? I was reminded of the largest perk of really hot temps - by the time I left the gym on Monday & Tuesday I was so hot that the last thing I wanted to do was eat. I needed water and some fruit, and I was set! (for a few hours, anyway) Do any of you guys experience that?

I am also being reminded that more time spent at the gym does create a culture of kindness. I experienced it at the WAC in Milwaukee, and it appears to be happening again here. Maggie - the delightful girl at the front desk has known me for a while, and has always been very friendly. But now, even the silent boy who is sometimes up there with her, will initiate contact! It's a miracle! Maybe he sees me enough that he feels safe, now? I also had two ladies (members, not workers) approach me this week. One said she'd seen me on the same machine the week before. She introduced herself, and I'm sure we will now become fast-friends...at the gym, anyway. Then on Thursday I had an older lady come over and give me a high-five while I was on the treadmill - - she told me "you keep workin!". I feel like I may now be the LTF-Savage charity case. Everyone is combining their efforts to make me feel like I fit in, and I'm loved - so I keep showing up. I haven't decided if it is a good, or bad, thing that I appear to be losing my "under-the-radar" status.

I do have to admit, however, that I am still slacking in a couple of areas. I am not lifting weights like I should be. That is definitely something I need to focus on improving over the next couple of weeks. The other is....I can't seem to make myself track my food! I am eating much better than I have been - so that isn't the huge issue. The problem is taking the time to enter it into my computer! I am horrible about it! I just need to make myself do it, and eventually it will become second-nature. I wish Bonnie also tracked calories coming in. That would be magnificent! In the meantime - I just need to keep telling myself: I can do it. I can do it.

Basically - I am a never-ending project! I'm improving...again...slowly, but surely. I'm putting in the miles. In the immortal words of Bill Murray in "What about Bob?" - "I'm doin' the work, I'm not a slacker!". Now I just need to carry that over to weights and food-logging.

Do you have something that you just can't seem to make yourself do?

I have also determined that this song is my new fave. On Thursday it helped me get through the last couple of laps on the Octane machine, when all I wanted to do was quit. It's "Give Me Everything" by Pitbull and like a million other people. It just makes me want to move! Enjoy!