two steps forward....what seems like a million back....

I realize this won't be news to you guys - but I hadnt written consistently, for months. I am truly feeling invigorated, and ready to start spilling again.

Last weekend was great for many reasons. I went out and had some fun with friends i hadnt hung out with in months. I met a completely oblivious jackwagon, who unknowingly propelled me to write again (see my last post). I got to catch up with old co-workers that I hadnt seen in a couple of years. And best of all - I think I finally put this stall into perspective.

I felt like if I wasn't making headway (losing weight), I had no business writing this blog. If I wasnt working out, I had nothing to share. If I wasn't eating a healthy diet of lean protein and leafy greens, I should keep my trap shut. If I didn't decide I was going to get healthy, and accomplish that goal with unwavering precision, I didn't have anything people woJuld want to read.

But this weekend something dawned on me - - people who go from being extremely overweight to fit - with no set-backs, no stall-outs, no mini (or not-so-mini) hiatuses (or would it be hiat-I?) from their healthful endeavors - are very rare. There are the occasional machines who decide they're going to get healthy, and just do. But I think most people follow a similar path to mine - super-motivated, lose weight, lose some motivation, stall out, gain weight, get it back together, lose weight, gain weight, gain more weight, lose weight. Yo-yo dieting is a term for a reason. Why do you think all of these diet plans try and boast their "__% have kept the weight off for 2+ years!!!!" statistics? I'll tell you why - because it's fucking hard! Because looking at it as a diet is a recipe for disaster in the first place. Because we're human, and completely changing your life - even when you know it will be great for you, and you'll feel better - is not like flipping a switch. It's like a constant damn battle against your mind and your taste buds and the people in your life who can eat whatever they want and your laziness and your willingness to not fight for yourself and that bitch in your brain that keeps telling you you can't do it. It never ends. There are days where it's easier than others - where talking yourself into a workout is easy, and brussel sprouts sound delicious. But the ugly truth is, those days are few and far between - and they become fewer and farther the louder that bitch in your brain gets. And she can get rowdy!

But I know I'm not alone in this. I know I'm not the only one who struggles. Who feels like she's losing more days than she's winning. But who is also willing to lace up her shoes and continue to fight. Because I am worth it. And health is possible. And I have you guys. And so I'm going to write. And I'm going to be honest with you about what I'm going through. The good, the bad, and the (often) ugly. Because I know I'm not alone, and I know some of you can relate. And I hope you'll continue to stick with me, and enjoy my antics.

So let's do this shit, you guys. We can do this. We deserve to do this. And I'm going to be a baaaaad-ass bitch when this is all said and done. I'd love it if you'd join me.