Sunday, November 27, 2011

I'm thankful....

There are times (the last month in particular) when I host a mini pity-party for myself. While I do believe that all things are relative (example: a thin woman can feel the need to lose weight when she gains __ pounds, because that is uncomfortable for her - when I feel like that is just plain silliness, because she is 1/9th my size, and I would like very much to be that tiny) I have no legitimate reason to have this solo festivals of ridiculousness. So for Thanksgiving weekend, I decided to celebrate all of the things (and there are way more than I listed here) why I am one damn lucky lady. So, without further delay - my list of thanks (in no particular order).

I am thankful... for my parents. No matter what my issue - and Lord knows there have been (and continue to be) many...I know I can count on them to always be there to help. Always. Shout out to Sue & Steve. You guys rule.

I am thankful... for my nieces and nephew. I have known for years that kids weren't in the cards for me, and I still totally feel that way - but I am astounded by how much I love these little people. They are so awesomely entertaining. I'm so lucky to be a part of their growing up...and I really can't wait to watch their parents deal with that! Shout out to Macy, Jorey & G. Steve. You guys remind me I'm not completely dead inside.

I am thankful... that I decided to stock up on all sorts of kitchen supplies, even though I never cooked. Now that I cook regularly, this crap is really coming in handy.

I am thankful... that I have a job. This isn't a given these days. And having one I like is a bonus.

I am thankful... for my friends. You have let me live with you, introduced me to hiking and tolerate my anti-fitness, got me a phone when I "lost" mine, met me for countless gym dates, stood in as my IT specialist, and on and on and on. You put up with my victory dances and sass. I have friends from high school that although we only get together every couple of months, it's like we've never been apart. I prefer quality over quantity, and you guys are quality. You're just there...when there is no reason for you to be.

I am thankful... for helpful family friends. When JaLisa decided she wanted to challenge me last week, Mr. G stopped to test some things, and tried to get her started. Then he coordinated her tow and repair. Shout out to you Kenny G. You are handy as hell, and I appreciate you.

I am thankful... for my family. All the aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, whatever you call the kids of your cousins, etc. I love that we still get together - maybe not as often as we used to, but we still see each other a few times a year. I love that you allow me to be a part of your lives. I appreciate each of you who does all the work of organizing, so we continue to celebrate holidays together. It's exhausting, but it's awesome. We are lucky.

I am thankful... that one of my grandma's was still alive to read my first (hopefully of many) book. Having your 80 year old granny tell you she really enjoyed your book is a pretty frickin' sweet thing. Shout out to Kay. She's living proof that you should smoke'm if you got'em. She's 80, and still likes her cigs. Enjoy your life, people. You only get one.

I am thankful... for the word "ninja". It never fails to make me smile.

I am thankful... that I still have my health. I may not be as healthy as I like, but I have my health. I can still work-out. I'm not on medication. It isn't something to be taken for granted.

I am thankful... for my sisters. Few people are lucky enough to have close relationships with their siblings like we do - not to mention you guys make me laugh like nobody else can. Ripping that piss-saturated carpet out really bonded us forever. Shout out to Wendy & Mackenzie. I love you.

What are you thankful for?

Monday, November 21, 2011

Post #251: the one where I get my shit together...again

Well...did you guys miss me!??!?

I didn't really realize how much time had gone by since my last post, until I looked at the date on it. Oops. Been missing since October 10th. I wish I could tell you that I'd been absent because I was so busy working out, I didn't have time to post - but that would be a lie. A huge one. And you guys deserve better. So here's what I have been the form of a "Sometimes" list...

Sometimes...  you finally break down and give ALDI (a discount grocery store in my area) a try, and find it actually isn't nearly as scary as you'd made it in your crazy brain

Sometimes...  your return to the workforce messes with your ability to effectively time-manage yourself...for months...

Sometimes...  you feel like you're eating a lot better than you were, because you're cooking it at home - and then you realize you're still eating processed crap because it's cheap, and it really bums you out

Sometimes...  your costs triple, while your income remains the same - and it takes you a while to figure out how you're going to adjust to these new numbers - because you are terrified that you might slip back into your unresponsible (not a word, but you get my point) financial ways, and dig yourself right back into that hole

Sometimes...  if you worked out for the half the amount of time you thought about working out, planned to work out, came up with excuses not to work out, felt guilty for not working out - you'd be able to run a damn marathon by now!

Sometimes...  it really pisses you off that fruits and vegetables are as expensive as they are. I want the chips. They taste better. And they cost less? Come on world! Give me some damn incentive to eat the broccoli!! (other than it's "good for me")

Sometimes... You have to set yourself up with a weekly weigh-in - because you feel you have no accountability to anyone, or anything, anymore. It's Tuesday, by the way - and you can follow my progress (yes - there will be progress) on my Facebook page (see the link on the right side of my blog)

Sometimes... you make yourself a pan of Biggest Loser Baked Ziti, because it's fairly easy, delicious, makes 8 servings, and you actually like the leftovers - and your kitchen looks like a war zone. That's when you remember one of the major reasons you hate cooking. The clean-up.

Sometimes...  you think you need YC to move to Minnesota so he can babysit you - because even though you know a lot of things: you need to work out, you need to eat well, you can feel much better than you currently do, you can do some amazing shit when you put your mind to it, you're going to love the way you feel when you do all of the crap you're supposed to, your confidence will improve, your brain will work better if the rest of you is taken care of...and on, and on... you just can't seem to make yourself do anything positive on a consistent basis.

Sometimes...  enough is enough, and you get so damn sick of yourself that you just can't take it any more. Enough of the excuses. Enough of the hiding from you guys, because I don't have anything positive to write about. Enough. If I was J.Lo, I'd be training to kick my own ass when I got home.

Sometimes... you actually make yourself a schedule. Like literally start yourself a google calendar to schedule your health - like it's a job. Daily workouts, scheduled. I've also scheduled out to go back over all my literature from fat camp. You know those things that had me feeling like I had the world by the balls? Yeah - that stuff. Cover your nuts, world, cuz I'm back!