That being said - I do have one personal requirement to all of this free speech: it should not be done anonymously. If you have an opinion you feel strongly about, you should be willing to put your name on it. I do not value the voice of someone who only seems capable of sharing the truth according to them when they can do it anonymously. Say whatever you want. Have whatever opinions you want to have. As long as you aren't breaking any laws, go to town. But have the balls to own it. Put your name on it, or shut up.
I first realized how dangerous anonymity could be when my cousin was in his first campaign. He has now gone through two elections to be the state representative of my home town district. During each campaign, people come out of the woodwork with erroneous claims, and slanderous comments. The common link? None of the people writing these things are adult enough to put their name on it. I am talking first and last name. Not "0034TpXY" or "BigTeddyBear". If you believe it enough to write it, then you should believe in yourself enough to take ownership.
Tuesday morning I was greeted with my first negative comment on this blog. Negative is only part of it. My interpretation was that it was insulting, and condescending. I have pasted it below, to save you the effort of having to go back and read it. Now I am not for one minute going to say that this person doesn't make some valid points. The issues that I have are:
- While I don't expect everyone that reads this blog to continually blow smoke up my ass, and be non-stop sunshine and butterflies - I don't want to take on other people's negativity. I am fighting my own on a daily basis.
- The first paragraph is absolutely true. The rest, although it contains some decent points, is written is such a manner that I wouldn't listen to him/her regardless of intent.
- I understand that making a blog public to the world leaves me open to others' opinions and emotions. But I'm not trying to fix anyone else. I am sharing my story. What I am going through. I am also not asking anyone to fix me. I think there are people that can relate to what I am going through, because they are as well. There is comfort in realizing you are not alone. If you don't connect with what I am doing, or writing - please feel free to discontinue reading this blog immediately.
- Please don't ever use the term "unacceptable" when referring to me, or my effort, again.
- Please don't comment on the support or "cheerleading" provided by the people reading and commenting on this blog. They have created a community of kindness and support, that not everyone is fortunate enough to have outside of this location. If you don't want to be a part of it, or it doesn't satisfy your needs - I wish you luck in finding it elsewhere.
- If you wanted to help, you would have put your name on this. If you were doing it for any reason, other than to try and make me feel bad, you would have included you own personal information. When you hide behind anonymity, you remove any relevance your words would have possibly carried. Be an adult. Take ownership of your words.
Because of my distaste for this experience, I have changed some of the comment settings for this blog. I have it set up so I will have to approve the comments before they post. This is not because I want to edit those of you that leave comments - I want you to be completely honest!! Feeling great? Feeling pissed? Feeling frustrated? Disagree with something I said? Share it!! But I also want you to take ownership of what you're writing.
If you use the "anonymous" feature, so you don't have to register as a follower of my blog, just put your name at the bottom of your comment and I'll send it right through. Negativity, hiding behind Anonymity, will be rejected. Not only on this blog, but in life.
Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Dickwad
And here is the comment:
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "I Am NOT The Next Biggest Loser":
In reading your blog, it appears that you already have access to a gym, plenty of time to go to the gym, plenty of friends to go to the gym with you, healthy food options, and knowledge about weight loss. It seems that the only thing that BL would offer to you that you don't have in your life right now is people who really hold you accountable when you slack. Does that seem like a fair assessment? And is that what you need? Because there are probably a few people who read this blog who would volunteer to fill that role.
For starters, when I checked the MYA page, I saw that you've only moved 30 miles in the last 4 weeks instead of the 80 miles that you promised. That is unacceptable. We expect to see a minimum of 20 miles every week (and even that is probably a fraction of how much the contestants move on BL -- if you're not working, you could spend several hours each day on a treadmill or elliptical or in the pool or walking at the mall or around your neighborhood -- do it for an hour in the morning, another hour in the afternoon, and another hour in the evening -- even if you move at a pace of 2 or 3 miles per hour, you could be doing 40 to 60 miles per week).
Also, if you aren't doing it now, you should start calculating the calories that you're consuming each day. You don't need to share that in the blog, but I think it's necessary for you to do the math for yourself so that you realize how much you need to move in order to burn more calories than you're consuming and "slim down."
I realize this blog is supposed to be a place of support, but the type of support or cheerleading that you have been receiving here doesn't seem to motivate you on a consistent basis. There have been too many weeks of slacking (both in terms of exercise and diet) and too many excuses, and nobody calls you out on it. Maybe a less warm-and-fuzzy type of support (similar to the type provided by the trainers on BL) is necessary.
If you (or other readers) think this is harsh, think about how harsh it would be to go on BL and have millions of TV viewers watching and commenting about you. My words are nothing compared to being forced to stand on a scale wearing a sports bra and biker shorts while a giant scale flashes your actual weight for the entire world to see.