Monday, February 28, 2011

Movin' West

For those of you that know me, it will come as no shock that I HATE moving. Ironically (or is stupidly?) I probably move more than anyone I know. I guess I like to make my own life as miserable as possible. So this last weekend I headed back to Minnesota to move. Compound that with a good dose of freezing cold (definitely one of my top 5 sadness causers), and this did not disappoint in the category of "suck"!

It was my sister Mackenzie and I. She lives in a house of stairs, and had been storing my bed and dressers for me. She is also moving to Chicago for love, so we were moving her things as well. Here is a little breakdown on how it went.

Phase 1: 9:30am - Meet at Mackenzie's to dismantle and carry down my dressers and bed. We had a quick lunch at Chipotle, then M went to get the truck, and I went to her house to bring some additional things down, and load my car with delicates (like my TV). I locked myself out of the house, but luckily my car was unlocked and I had an extra key. I don't make anything easy. We loaded my bed, dressers, etc - and take them to Shakopee to unload at my new home (SHOUT OUT to Linda for taking me in, so I am not homeless!) This went shockingly smooth in spite of the stairs we encountered there as well. I stayed to assemble my bed, so I could fall into that night without having to be slowed down while M finished packing back at her place. I changed into dry shirts (I sweat a LOT). I required a Diet Mountain Dew on tap on the way back to Mackenzie's, to help insure I could maintain a somewhat good attitude.

Phase 2: We loaded up all of the things that are going with M to Chicago. We also hauled the dressers down 2 flights of stairs (so there was only 1 left to get them on the truck) because I suspected I wouldn't want to do it after phase 2. I am very wise. Phase 2 is where M started to show signs of cracking - - laughing for no reason, etc. We are so good at what we do! We loaded up all of her things and headed to Hudson to drop them off. We were greeted by a couple amazing things when we arrived. 1) there was help there! 3 extra people!! and 2) it was all on flat land. NO STAIRS!!! Needless to say, we had Phase 2.2 completed in about 5 minutes. Shout out to the Laurie (Sp?), Gene & Neighbor Mark! I appreciate you more than you know!

Phase 3: Load up the things heading to my parents' for storage. This includes a 3000 pound (maybe a bit of a stretch - but it is heavy!). We get the kitchen table, chairs, dressers and bike loaded up. Then M's future brother-in-law (probable?) and 2 lovely neighbors came in to save the day! They loaded the heavy couch, and brought my old couch and chair to the garage for easy loading on Saturday. SHOUT OUT to Corey, Pro & Jose. You are lovely.

After some much-needed, and well-deserved snacks at Houlihan's, we slept. Plans to meet at 7am to head down for phase 3.2 were made, and miraculously we were both on time!

Phase 3.2  went pretty well - we dropped most of the stuff off at my Dad's warehouse, put it on a pallet, and then headed to my parents' house to unload the beast (heavy couch). Luckily, my other sister Wendy was there, and we were able to get the couch into the basement. The inside of my hands were on fire, but at least it was done!

Phase 4: involved me loading up, and trying to get rid of my old couch and chair (probably about 10-12 years old), and my parents' old couch (25-30 years old, brown with flowers. pretty) at Goodwill. No go. They sent me to Chaps. No go. I called the landfill - $50 to get rid of them. Geesh! Steve thinks he can get rid of them, so they got to stay on the truck.

Noon on Saturday, the fun is finally over. I am BEAT! Met some friends for lunch, took a nap and headed out for a few hours.

I did observe a few things during this move:
  1. I wish I wouldn't have forgotten my Body Bugg in WI. I can only imagine how many cals and steps I got in on Friday! FEEL THE BURN!
  2. Although I have moments where I don't feel like I've come very far since starting FC, I have. Yes I got winded, and yes - I was sweaty. But I could keep going! We did a LOT of stairs with weights!
  3. Most amazing? I was totally able to still move on Saturday! I was sure I was going to wake up completely sore and broken. Nope. My legs were a little stiff when I first got up, but they were fine after a couple of minutes. My body was tired, but it wasn't sore like I thought it would be. If I wasn't covered head to toe in bruises, I may not have even realized I'd done anything on Friday. 
You don't always need the gym to get in a good workout! =)

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Circle of Slack

Does anyone else have a life where it seems like when things are going well, everything is going well? The sun is shining, the birds are singing, you are eating well, you are exercising, your are financially sound, you have a job you can tolerate (most of the time) is like a box of chocolates. Fat free, counts as a vegetable, good-for-you chocolates.

When I am going to the gym, and simultaneously eating well, I feel like I've really got my crap together. That then translates into a high level of motivation to not only continue doing those things, but also write positive stuff for this blog, I feel unstoppable and capable of handling any crisis - and be really positive (like my genetically make up is mostly hearts and butterflies). Basically, I feel like I have the world by the balls. I think part of the problem is, During these periods, I get a little cocky.

Then, conversely, there is the state I am currently in. And any small misstep from my previously described "world domination mode" can land me right here in the middle of what I call "the circle of slack". The sun is not shining. The birds are not singing. It won't stop snowing. I don't want to eat well. I don't want to go to the gym. I have a hard time coming up with topics for my blog - I sometimes feel like I might need to change the name to "the never-ending whine". I am completely unmotivated, in every aspect of my life - and have spells where I feel bad putting that on you guys. I feel like my genetic make up is....whatever is the opposite of hearts and butterflies. I feel like the world had it's balls around my neck. (funny visual) It's a circle of negativity, and it just keeps going round and round and round. It is these times that I reprimand myself for ever getting cocky.

And the worst part is, I don't know how to pull out of it. I can make all the plans and goals in the world - but as I've explained, that tends to go the opposite of my intention. My goals are like my volleyball skills. I want the ball to go over the net, or to my teammate to set it up for the spike - but it tends to go the opposite direction, screwing me and all those around me in the process. And I don't think my 9 months of solitude is helping. This winter has been the hardest on me, in recent memory. Whether that is because I am actually in charge of dealing with each snow fall (because I am in charge of a house, not in an apartment where someone else has to deal with it) or because I am myself...with no break from my own brain....whatever it is, this season is kicking my ass. I seriously wanted to yell at the sky to quit snowing the other day. See? I'm LOSING IT! (my mind, not my ass - so in the bad way!)

So this weekend I go home to move my stuff into my new home. Then I am back for 5 days, and I move back to MN for good. I think that in itself will help me start to claw my way out of the CoS. I have people there to have gym dates with. I get to play with my nieces (and eventually nephew when he gets a little older), and remind myself of how much more fun we can have when I get in shape. I can take my sister's dog for walks, which is really good for both of us. And I can continue to pray for spring and sunshine.

So friends in MN, be ready. I am going to need you guys. I'm coming back to world domination mode, and I'd like you to join me!

Monday, February 21, 2011

One Year Anniversary: Fat Camp

It is unbelievable to me that it has already been a year since the day I arrived at FC! It was 365 days ago that I got to drive into Durham with my sunroof open in February. Since I walked through the doors of Duke Diet & Fitness Center. Since I met some truly amazing people that I am still in contact with. Since I felt hopeful for the first time in a long time that I could change my life for the better.

In this year, a lot has happened. I lost my job, discovered some potential new skills, lived in Milwaukee for nine months, shot out of the gates and lost 60 pounds in 3.5 months, used my good-luck-charmness to help WI win the super bowl (shout out to my Packer-loving friends), met YC who is one of my favorite people, walked a couple 5K's (slowly), had entire weeks where I couldn't move major portions of my body due to weight lifting, stalled out and bounced around in the same 20 pounds for about 8 months, spent those same 8 months in constant battle with myself to get to the gym and eat right....the list could go on and on and on.

Some, including myself at times, feels like I should have done more. I should have exercised more. I should have lost more weight. I should be able to do more than I currently am able to. Should, should, should. Who the hell decides what "should" happen, anyway? Here is the truth: I have days where I am pissed at myself for not having lost more weight than I have. For having not accomplished more at the gym. For my butt still being the size that it is. I have, after all, nothing but time. What the hell else do I have to do?

Then I need to check myself a bit. Because you know what I didn't do? I didn't gain it all back, and then some. I didn't completely stop going to the gym for months at a time. I didn't give up. And all of those things are what I usually do. When it gets hard, or uncomfortable, I stop. I usually stick to my attempt at health for much less than a year.

So even though I haven't accomplished all I had envisioned for myself a year ago, I have done something pretty amazing for me. I have maintained a loss of 60 pounds. I go to the gym regularly, and I work hard while I'm there. And most importantly - I'm not ready to quit. I am just getting started.

I'm feeling re-energized. Winter is (hopefully) coming to an end. I'll be back home in a couple of weeks, surrounded by my friends and family, and I'll be using them to help keep me moving. It is almost baseball season. By the end of June, my ass will fit in one of those seats! I know it won't be easy. I know it is going to require a lot of work on my part. It is also going to require a more healthy diet than I have been using during most of this past year. But I know I can do it. And I appreciate all of you helping to keep me motivated. For helping me remember that this isn't easy, and I am not alone. I appreciate all of you for sticking with me for this past year. Let's make the next one even better!

It's about time I show Remus what a bitch I can be when I don't like someone. =)

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I'll Be Back....

Hello friends!

I just realized that the message I typed Monday morning didn't post. Excellent. I apologize for disappearing. I am taking this week off from blogging as I try to finish up some packing, and work on sticking to some sort of healthy routine! =) I'll be back Monday the 21st, and will be posting new updates on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I will also be updating the "Mission: Move Your Ass" page as often as I get updates, so make sure to check that out when you stop by!

Thank you all for sticking with me! I'll be back in a few days, and be back on my game!

Love, Natalie (& Remus)

Friday, February 11, 2011

From Fear to Success

Do you ever underestimate yourself? Do you ever assume you won't be able to do something, without even trying it? I have that. I tend to do it a LOT. Before FC my life was all about editing. Removing places I couldn't go because of seating, or the distance I'd have to walk to get there. And heaven forbid I'd have to move once I got there! Forget that! I wouldn't attempt to do anything I felt like might be the least bit of a challenge, because I was as big as a house and didn't want to look like a fool if I failed. 

Not sure why I am still holding on to my fears with a death grip? Maybe it's tied to the fact that I don't really think I've had any significant changes to my size? Or I forget that I am capable of more now than I was a year ago? Or it's just that I'm still just scared of looking like a jackass if I can't do it?

Thursday was a day to confront one of my fears. YC had me doing walking lunges while holding weights. Does this sound like a big deal? Probably not to most people. I have been doing regular lunges for a while now. But walking lunges? This is a whole other matter. I think the balance part of it is what terrifies me. The bigger you are, the less balance you have - or at least that is the way it works for me. What if I get stuck in the lunge? Completely ludicrous fear - I know I can get myself out of a lunge. But with the added just never know. What if, in the middle of the lunge, I lose my balance and just fall over? So embarrassing! Mortifying to do that in the middle of the gym. 

So I went down my list of exercises. And when it came to the walking lunges I considered skipping them. Would anyone really know? No. No one would know, except me. But isn't it kind of silly to lie? Yes, it is. So I gave it a try. I did a couple without weights. What is this? Dare I say - they were "easy"? Yes. I dare to say! They were no problem. No problem at all! I grabbed myself a couple of weights, and did my sets. They were incident-free. What a complete waste of panic! 

So...yet another lesson. Maybe I should stop underestimating myself. Maybe I should give things a try before assuming I can't do it. I am getting stronger. The list of things I am capable of is going to continue to grow (hopefully). I will add this to the list of brain changes I need to make. 

I wonder what other crap I can do that I don't know about?

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Guest Post by Thais from "Living in the (k)Now":

I love Twitter. I spent years being scared of it. Now I can not possibly imagine why I felt that way. It has introduced me to so many fantastic people that I never would have met otherwise. One of my favorites is my "Twitter Twin" Thais (we have found we have a ton in common). She writes her own blog: Living in the (k)Now and was kind enough to do a guest blog to share with all of you. Thank you, Thais, for sharing with us! I really appreciate it!

I asked her to write a short bio, so you guys can get to know her a bit. So...without further ado.... Our first guest blog:

Hello all! My name is Thais (pronounced ta-eee-ss) and I was born in Sao Paulo, Brazil. I attended Boston University and graduated with a degree in business and I hope to open up my own yoga studio someday (taking my yoga teacher certification in June!)  I love exercising because of the way my body feels afterward (can't honestly say I like exercise for the sake of it though!), and I have devoted countless hours educating myself on nutrition. I am a true believer that you are what you eat and I take pride in having a very whole, organic, healthy diet with no deprivation. That being said, people often forget how abundant love is in this world and I hope my blog will inspire readers to keep a clear heart and open mind.

The Winter Blues

I am self proscribed seasonally depressed. This winter has just been so rough for me! I am always cold, always hungry, and always moody. Every day I miraculously find energy to get myself out of bed and into the gym before work but boy all I want to do is stay in my warm, comfy bed. My resentment pours into the other aspects of my life and I find myself extra sensitive. It’s like I am in constant PMS mode. I lash at the people I love, alienate my friends and isolate my heart. Really, this cold weather is not doing me well.

One evening during a yoga nidra class (yoga nidra is a type of yogic sleep; a deep relaxation that allows your mind to drift between realms), I started crying hysterically. And after the class it hit me why– I am tired of fighting what is. Tired of resisting life. Fighting reality is a lose-lose because at the end of the day, you cannot change the moment presented to you. The only thing you can control is your attitude. I cannot will the weather to be warmer but I CAN make the best of what I have. I can embrace the present and realize that eventually, it will be warmer again. I do not want to look back at winter and regret because I was too busy feeling sorry for myself.

After bitterly complaining for weeks, I have come to realize that I am not doing anyone any good. My coworkers are tired of my rants. My family stays away from me and I am just tired of being dragged down! It is a malicious cycle that I need to snap out of. Immediately.

So, you might ask, what is good about the winter?!? This is the list I came up with:
  • ·         You don’t feel bad that you are stuck in an office all day the way you feel bad when it’s a beautiful summer afternoon
  • ·         The snow truly is beautiful if you look at it
  • ·         I love wearing scarves
Ok the list is rather short. One yoga session was not powerful enough to make me LIKE winter. But at least I can appreciate it a little more. Because without winter I know I would take summer for granted. And there is nothing worse than taking something for granted.

Every day I wake up and I set a positive intent. Today will be a good day regardless of the cold. I will get out of bed and to the gym because my body loves me for it. This moment, this breath, is the only one you have.

What do you do to keep the warm cheer in your heart?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

oh the places I can reach....

As anyone who has ever been as...ummm...voluminous...yeah, I have been knows - sometimes reaching things - especially on your own body - can be difficult. I could barely put my arms down at my sides - they were at constant 45 degree angles from my body because of my fluff!You can't bend your arms or legs as far as you need to for certain things. Try scratching your back, bending over to tie your shoes or pick up your golf ball - when you're absolutely rotund! Forget about it. It is nearly impossible. Picking things up off the floor would often require an all out body bobbing motion, where I'd just pray I grabbed the thing on my first try.

As large and in charge people, we have more creases and folds on your body to get to! It is an issue in a million different ways - getting dressed, scratching an itch and even cleaning yourself. When I was at my biggest, there were just so many places it was difficult to get to. There were times when getting showered felt like I'd just had a workout with all of the strenuous stretching. Let's face it - there is nothing worse than a person that smells, and the bigger you are the harder it is to get everything scrubbed up. (here I go again with the over-sharing) An itch on my back would require me to go into Ed-Mode (my grandpa) and find a good corner to scratch it on. It is ridiculous, but there were just a lot of spots on my body that I couldn't see, or easily reach.

But I noticed something the other day. I can reach places on my body that I couldn't before. (get your mind out of the gutter =)) I can actually reach the majority of my back. I first noticed it when I was trying to put my sports bra on too soon after my shower, and it was rolled up into a tube at my shoulder blades ('ve probably been there anything worse?). Typically I would have to take the bra off, and start over again - which is no easy feat itself. But I noticed that I could bend my arm in such a way that I could actually reach it behind my back and pull it down. I don't remember that last time I could do that. Seriously. When I started FC I could barely hook my fingers behind my back to stretch. Now I can reach up to my shoulder blades? Amazing.

There are so many times where I don't feel like I'm noticeably smaller. Where I don't really feel like I've changed much physically. And then I have moments where I realize I can do things I couldn't before. And it is usually something that so many people take for granted - like being able to reach the middle of your back. Things that are nothing most people would never even consider as an issue are the moments I realize how far I've come. It's nice to have little reminders every once in a while.

I think maybe it is my body's way of telling me to get my ass back to the gym. It knows there are a ton of cool things coming our way, and would like to get there sooner or later. My body gets pretty impatient sometimes.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Two Zero Zero

You know what today is? It is my 200th post. I know, right! How the hell did we get here? How have you guys put up with my over-sharing for this long? How have you stuck with me through this much incessant rambling? How have you tolerated my whining? My complaining? My committing? My lack of commitment? My re-committing? My six days of being really good, and my 10 months of being not-so-god? I am a damn human yo-yo, and you guys have stuck with me through it all. I tip my cap to all of you! I don't know if I could have done it. You are all, as I've always suspected, remarkable.

I have told you guys things I don't believe I've ever really talked about before. I have received an astronomical amount of support from everyone who has contacted me. It is so truly amazing, and I am so grateful.  I'm sure there has been much in this vomiting of information that you wish I wouldn't have shared - shout out to "pancake boobs"! Am I right, or am I right? But it's all part of this crazy experience. This slow...painfully slow at times..."journey" that I'm on. And I committed to being honest. Sometimes it is embarrassing...admitting your short-comings/failures/back-slides to anyone that cares to read about them. But then there are the times I get to share something really great - something as simple as being able to cross one leg over the other - that so many people take for granted, but it is something remarkable for a someone who has spent a lot of time severely overweight. 

I have been a completely sarcastic ass. I have been depressing as hell when things aren't going the way I want them to. I have been motivated. I have been a slug. All of you have been delightful. You have cheered me on enthusiastically. You have believed in me (even though many of you don't know me personally) - especially when I didn't believe I could do it.   

Thank you all for sticking with me. I hope you have enjoyed this as much as I have, and pray we stay together forever! (OK - maybe not forever...but for a long time!) Thank you for all of the comments and emails you have sent - I truly cherish every one of them, and they make my day. You guys are slowly but surely restoring my belief in human-kind, and I appreciate all of you. I am so grateful.

Monday, February 7, 2011

On A Mission

Sunday was not only the Super Bowl - it was also the kick-off of Mission: Move Your Ass! I am doing something a little different for this one. I have made a page for it. Please check in there early and often! I will be updating it as new info comes in, and updating weekly when people report in. Please let me know if you are interested in joining.

I, for one, am very glad we have a new mission getting started. I have hit an anti-motivated streak here, so having this mission will hopefully help propel me to get my ass to the gym! I have an appointment with YC on Monday. I may get the opportunity to burn some extra cals, because I may have to kick him if he wants to gloat over the Packer victory.

So enough of sitting on my ass. Enough of eating whatever I feel like. It is time to get it together for my last month here. It is time to get in as much bonding time as I can with YC. It is time to get in as much time as I can at the WAC before I have to go back to LTF - and no longer have my own personal TV on my treadmill. It is time to move my ass.

Before I go, I do have one more note. SHOUT OUT to "Big Sexy". The half of my eye candy that has spent the last couple of months on the Packers practice squad. He now has himself a Super Bowl ring. It is the one spec of silver-lining I can find about being trapped here right now.

Friday, February 4, 2011


Lift with your legs, not your back. Who of us has not heard this before? I had it running on a constant cycle through my brain during my many...many...many hours of snow shoveling on Wednesday. I tried to use good form. I did. But at some point while using a baby shovel to move 2+ feet of're going to slip occasionally. It did not help that there was a great deal of "throwing" of snow involved. Honestly. I may be trained for a high level of performance if they decide to add this to the X games. Unfortunately, the training for an intense faux competition can cause some issues physically. 

I woke up this morning with a completely broken back. Not "needing surgery" broken, but more of the "I will shoot pains up your back if you move too quickly" type of pain. My hips were sore/tight when I went to bed on Wednesday, but were feeling much better by Thursday morning. 

When YC texted to see if I was coming in for a workout I went for honesty. I told him I was sort of broken, and felt like I might need to take a day off. Shock of all shock!! He said resting might not be an all bad idea! What?!? So I did. I took the day off. Trying to stretch periodically. I think it worked! I am feeling a thousand times better. 

Now I'm looking forward to Mission Move Your Ass, starting on Sunday. So far I have 2 joiners. Anyone else? It isn't too late! Just get me your info by this Sunday! Come on! What do you have to lose?!? It might be amazing! It WILL be amazing! Join us! You can link to the information here. I look forward to hearing from you soon! =)  

Thursday, February 3, 2011

My Day in Pictures: Snow-nami

Let me start by saying: I know it is winter, and snow should be expected. That does not, however, prepare one for what I woke up to today. Complete and total snow domination! Every surface was covered with 1-5 feet of snow, depending on how the ridiculous volume of wind dealt with the obstacles on your yard. It did not make my flower flourish. I thought I would describe how my day went by using some photos I took of this day.

I looked out the front windows, and this is what greeted me:

This is what it looked like at the front door. Yes - that is Ja Lisa (who proved to be a complete beast later in the day) almost completely buried. Where is the sidewalk, you ask? Your guess is as good as mine.

Looking slightly right out the front door....yes, there is a sidewalk somewhere down there, too. The plows are nowhere in sight, and my neighbors hadn't ventured out yet either.

Here is a look at the back yard. I know it is hard to see by these pics (I took them with my phone, and tried to blow them up so they are kind of fuzzy. You would never guess I got blue ribbons on my photography projects in 4-H!) but that is a 5' drift against the garage of the lady behind me. The snow is basically 2-3 feet deep in the whole backyard/alley.

After seeing all of this, I texted YC to cancel our appt. He said he couldn't get out of his garage, so it was no problem. This storm was ridiculous.

I got to use the baby shovel to get through the waist-deep snow out to the road. It was at that time that John - the neighbor with the snow blower - returned home. SHOUT OUT to John. He did the front (perpendicular) sidewalk for me.

I found the rounded sidewalk around the house! What was awaiting me, there? A drift up to my boobs/pancakes. That was super-fun. It also helped me understand why I couldn't get out the side door.

I finally dug my trench through the back yard!! When i got to the alley I was greeted by my second hero of the day: Joel. SHOUT OUT to Joel for using his snow blower to help John clean out the alley! Diane, Katie and I shoveled off one of the parking pads, and did the edge shovel work. Our "team" was the first to have their section of the alley cleared out. I would still be out there if it wasn't for these guys. SO GRATEFUL.

After spending 2 hours on these areas, I went inside for about an hour until the plow went through. Then I got to dig JaLisa out  - the freshly plowed snow was up to the bottoms of the windows. I was too irritated at this point to continue with my photos. Thirty minutes later I was ready to try and drive out of my spot - enter "the Beast"! Got my car out on the first try! I decided to check my body bugg for my calorie burn when I got back in the house. 3500 calories burned! It was like 3:30pm! I thought I was done. But the City of Milwaukee had another surprise for me.

We had all moved our cars, so they did that side of the street now. They completely buried my sidewalk to the street. I went back out to shovel. For the third time. At least the sun was out. I was delighted to see that the snow plow had pushed snow over the mound on the boulevard, and onto the sidewalk. Another 20ish minutes to clean out my path to the street, John's path to the street (I owed him!) and our front sidewalks. Then I was done. Officially. Now I wait for the zero degree temps.

Have I mentioned how much I loathe winter? I have? OK.

NOTE: my post for yesterday didn't post until after 8pm. I am having a hard time getting the "schedule" feature to work. Incase you want to read about my crankiness! =)

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Mind Over Lazy

**It is official. The "schedule" post feature doesn't appear to be working. This should have been up at 6am. GRRRRRRR.

I was greeted Tuesday morning with about 6-8 inches of snow. Not the end of the world. Shoveling isn't that bad. Actually - I partially take that back. Trying to shovel the alley is horrific. The concrete is beat to hell, and has been maintained with a series of tracks of black rubber filling the cracks. Basically, you can push your shovel no more than 4 inches before it is stopped by a said rubber tracks, or differing concrete heights. It annoys the crap out of me, to say the least. It should take me about 20 minutes to shovel, but takes closer to 40 with these noted obstacles. Sorry for the rant, but it broke me down.

After finishing the snow removal, I came in for some breakfast. I had my standard (1 egg, 3 egg whites, 1 laughing cow wedge, a whole wheat English Muffin, yogurt and a banana) "I'm trying to eat healthy" day-starting meal. While waiting for my appointment to meet YC, I lost all interest in going outside again. I am sorry - but sometimes the thought of having to brush off my car just seems like too much. I went so far as to type him half of a cancellation text. But that is not going with my new plan to put my boot in SAD's ass, now is it? So I went. Begrudgingly.

I think YC would have preferred I stay home. Have you ever had a day where you just couldn't even smile? Where you are tired, and cranky, and void of all humor? That was me today. I suspect I looked a little something like the pic to the left. And YC wasn't having it. He decided to fight fire with fire. He threw the sass right back at me, and was extremely disinterested in my opinions about the weights he was giving me. He basically told me to shut my mouth and do it - only he wasn't that nice about it. Bonus? We get to meet tomorrow, too. I guess I shouldn't have told him my motivation is in the negatives. Now he is going to make me meet with him daily, and I fear he might make me cry tomorrow.

Wish me luck everyone! And here is to a crank-free day!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I'm going to put my (snow) boot in SAD's ass!

Last week was a colossal failure. I was lazy, and ate like crap. I went back to MN for the weekend, and things didn't improve there. I am going to just go ahead and blame it on this gray, depressing weather! The older I get, the more I think SAD is a legit issue! Sure...deep down I know it is my own issue. That I'd rather sit on my couch than go work hard at the gym. That I'd rather eat something super-delicious than something that is super-good-for-me.

The truth is, winter sucks. It is cold, and dreary, and depressing. I don't embrace outdoor activities. I hate the idea of having to bundle up, and get in a cold car, and get out at your cold destination. It all sucks. Winter puts me in a foul mood. I should probably move south, but it just isn't going to happen. I have all of my friends and family in the tundra, so it is probably about time I find a responsible way of dealing with it. My current reaction: huddling up on the couch, under a blanket - doesn't seem to be the  most enlightened way to deal with the issue. Step one of my new outlook is to embrace shoveling (which I honestly don't even mind. It is WAY better than raking, and I haven't found any corpses so far!) as the good exercise that it is. Bundle up, and get it done.

For the next month (my remaining time in WI) I am going to force myself to be more constructive in my dealings with my winter-induced-sadness. I am going to go to the gym 6 days a week, and soak in the fluorescent lighting. I am going to try and convince myself that it is the sun. On the third and sixth days of the week - I am going to treat myself to some time in the tanning bed. (not to worry - I am a lover of sunscreen, and avoid sunburn at all costs) I just need a few minutes of faux-sun to snap me out of my funk. I figure it's worth a shot...right?

I have my new mission starting soon, and a lot of miles to put on each week, so the gym will be a necessity. It is just as warm there as it is at home. I get to watch TV. It is basically like a moving couch! And all of the movement keeps me really warm, and really sweaty - so I've got that working for me as well! 

I'm going to eat as well as I can. The reality is, that this freezing cold weather doesn't make me want to eat salads and fruit. It makes me want to eat pasta and pizza. I will fight that as often as I can, while simultaneously trying to keep myself satisfied so I don't go completely off the rails. I am choosing my battles. I know I need to eat healthy the bulk of the time - and will make myself lighter options of some faves. I will be as good as I can be. And hope that is enough. 

Do you guys suffer from winter blues? If so, how do you fight it?