It is no secret that the last few months have been anything but easy for me, and my quest to finally rid myself of Remus (shout out to Amber for pointing out I used the wrong name!! No idea what I was thinking! Thank you.). This jerk will not go away easily!! I have had moments of brilliance, but they have been entirely too few and far between. I have been lazy. I have had spurts of motivation. I have joined a gym. I have spent hours sitting on my couch. I have cooked nutritious things for myself. I have eaten entirely too many things that I shouldn't. I have brought things into my house which should be banned from my life (shout out to chips and pizza). I have given myself so many pep talks I was starting to feel like Tony Robbins.
But I never gave up all the way. I never went an entire week without going for a walk or going to the gym. (I know that may not be impressive to many of you...but for the girl that has started and stopped so many attempts at improving her health - that is a big one.) I would get the occasional fruit, veggie or baked chicken breast mixed in with the crap I was eating. Was I following my program from Duke to the letter? No. But was I at least trying, on occasion, to keep my goal in sight? Yes.
It was that triathlon weekend. Those few days were so great, for so many reasons, that something finally clicked back in to place. Maybe it was the possible job opportunity, or just having a friend think enough of me to mention my name to her co-worker. Maybe it was that kind of cute guy at the bar who gave me his number. Maybe it was watching women of all shapes and sizes and ages (shout out my friends Stephanie, Darcy and Shannon - you guys are so awesome!) doing a triathlon - - committing to something, and accomplishing it. Maybe it was playing with my adorable nieces, and realizing what I had been missing out on when I was less mobile. Whatever it was, that weekend re-inspired me.
In the 2 weeks since then I have been eating on program, and exercising very regularly. With my gym membership I get two "Fit U" sessions with a personal trainer. I finally had my first session with young Craig yesterday. He is young Craig (YC) because he is such a pup - he is 23. I have this thing with certain people where I call them the name I think they look like, rather than by their real name (shout out to Jay, who I constantly referred to as Tim)....I am slightly concerned I am going to refer to Craig as Brian for the remainder of his days. I am sure this will be shocking to all of you, but I can be a bit of a load to deal with on occasion (especially where exercise is concerned) - but I am happy to report I think YC is going to do just fine. He seems pretty no-nonsense, like "just do it and get it done" - which is exactly what I need. After talking over what my goals are (I went to fat camp, I've lost some lbs and I want to get healthy...I gave up on being a size 2 long ago -which got a smile out of YC), and letting him know I would like to not have completely flabby/jiggly arms, etc - we were off for 1/2 of weightlifting. Lots of upper-body machines and weights - - by the end I was feeling exhausted and woozie (shout out water, and my brain remembering to bring it in from the car next time), but great! ENDORPHINS!! It has been a while since I have spent a torturous morning with Stephanie at LTF...so I was somewhat worried that I would lose my ability to move my arms today. Good news!! I still have full mobility of all of my limbs!!
It has only been about 10 days, but I already feel so much better...again!! Is there some sort of shock therapy that would help me remember this feeling more accurately the next time (and unfortunately, I am certain there will be a next time) I go off the tracks? That is something I will have to look into......