Saturday, August 28, 2010

My Eyes Are Open....

It has taken me a while, but I think I finally figured something out!  When I am not sticking to the program (also see: shoveling things I shouldn't eat into my mouth and sitting on my couch) I don't have anything to write about.  That is why the entries have been so scattered.  I could only update when I had actually done something positive...and as you can see since I returned July 1st - that hasn't been much!  Now that I am back to embracing my de-Remus-ing, I will be trying to update more frequently. 

I realize this whole experience isn't supposed to be all rainbows and hearts and butterflies.  There are going to be days that just suck...there will actually probably be a LOT of those.  They will, at times, far outweigh the good days.  I am planning to share what I am doing and feeling - and do it honestly, with hopefully a little bit of an entertaining spin - on a much more frequent basis.  I no longer see the benefit in trying to put up a front like everything is going well when it isn't.  What/who is really profiting from me not being honest with myself (or any of you for that matter), and trying to make this whole process seem like it is much easier than it is?  I know I am not.  So enough with the crap!  I am looking forward to this... 

When I started out on this....ummm...adventure?  (Merrium-Webster have an adventure listed as: an exciting or remarkable experience - - so I guess that will work) Everything was so exciting, and I was filled with this overwhelming optimism for the fantastic changes that would soon be coming.  At FC it was easy.  Everything was on a schedule.  I didn't know anyone else, so what else was there to do but exercise.  Short of going back to my room, there was only 1 TV for everyone to share.  Your meals are prepared for you, and the gym is right downstairs....  I lost sight of the fact that I have a similar set-up cooking here in Milwaukee.  There is no one here to distract me.  My duties as far as the house goes are pretty minimal.  I really have nothing else to do but take care of myself.  I just wasted almost 2 months not taking advantage of my freedom.  I am working on trying not to be mad at myself.  I can't change the past - I can only go forward from here, right?  So I am giving myself a pass.  The only thing I can do now is keep this momentum I have recaptured.  

After my first full week of success in the healthy eating and exercise departments, I was rewarded today with a couple of entertaining sightings.  People watching is one of my favorite things!  I am constantly intrigued, astounded, repulsed and entertained by humankind.  On my way out of the gym today, I was walking by the front desk.  There were 2 older ladies (my best guess is 70+ year olds) handing in their keys and getting their cards back.  They turned around from the desk, and there was an adorable 22-ish year old boy (hat backwards, gym bag slung (that's right - slung) across his body, holding a basketball.  He pipes right up and gives them a "hey's it going today?" while he stepped to the side so they could walk by.  I couldn't hold in my giggle!  Those two ladies just lit up!  I love it when people shock you in a really good way.  He made their day!  I was behind them as they walked out of the building, and I think he had them a little flustered...they couldn't remember where they parked.  My second view was of a very tall, well-built man (maybe 40ish?) a red shirt and camouflage pants, with a handkerchief on his head....backpack securely on both shoulders...rollerskating down the sidewalk.  You just don't see rollerskates on an adult, everyday.  It brought a smile to my face.  I guess I know how he stays in shape.

1 comment:

  1. Way to go, baby! I know it is tough stuff to stay on track - but I am so proud of you :) You are going to succeed - you already are!



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