Friday, January 20, 2017

9 Months Post-Op

** I'll try to do updated photos every 3 months. As with my 6 month shots, you'll see more of this bod than you likely want to - but I want to be as honest as I can about what this process is like/does to a body. You've had your warning =) **

It truly seems like so much longer than 9 months since that morning that I couldn't stop sweating, because that's how my nerves chose to manifest themselves. Since I put on that huge gown with the cool air hose hooked to it. Since the new nurse tried to get my IV started, unsuccessfully. Since I sat there in that bed on wheels waiting for them to take me off to surgery, genuinely concerned I wouldn't wake up. Since Dr. Jones and his team changed my life for the insanely better.

In the photos I post that have 3 pictures - the one on the left will be September 2015, the middle will be October 2016 and the right will be January 2017. I am wearing the same clothes to show that difference as well - and lets face it - - they're pretty damn comfy now! I didn't spend a lot of time trying to make everything fit just right - so they're not professional shots by any means - - but they should give you an idea.

I don't know that I see much of a change from the 6 month to the 9 month pictures, but the lighting makes me look like I have a bit of a tan, so I'll take it =) I'm so pasty white thanks to Minnesota winter!!

Putting these pictures together was a little bit more difficult than it has been in the past. I don't know if it's that I am feeling so much better, and able to do so much more now - - not sure what caused it - but I was just so genuinely sad for that girl on the left.

This 9 months has definitely been a time of self-actualization. Before my surgery, I never felt depressed. I didn't feel like I lacked confidence. I didn't realize how the choices I was making were based on what I perceived to be the best I could do instead of what I actually deserved. I didn't feel that unhappy. Sure - I had moments, but it wasn't all the time. Thank God for defense mechanisms!! I am just now starting to realize how much I was holding myself back because it was just easier to do that then want/wish/hope for things. And I think I'm about done with that shit. Time to start going for exactly what I want!

I think this back photo, which we forgot to take at 6 months, was the most shocking to me. I mean, holy shit! All of those rolls were eating my bra! Not to worry - my ass is still wide, and those hips aren't going anywhere - - but I'm fine with that. Look at the rest of my back!!! It's not just multiple big rolls anymore! Yes - I will likely have chronic back fat - but I don't give one shit! I have a back now! I can kind of see the line where my spine is. I guess all those damn rows and back exercises Scott has me doing are worth it...almost! =)

I seriously cannot get enough of looking at this comparison. It is just unbelievable how much a body can change in such a short period of time! This, ladies and gentlemen, is why you do weight training.

This one...hasn't really improved. These arms of mine are...saggy. There is muscle in there somewhere - -  I promise! But the loose skin/sagging is insane! My nieces were touching the saggy part and promptly informed me that it feels "like a boob!" Which is great news, as I could possibly just move this saggy crap over to my boobs (see picture below) so I might actually be able to fill out my bra again! The one positive of this comparison is that my wings (that part under my armpit, hanging over my bra) appear to have shrunk up a bit? Or maybe that's just wishful thinking?

 Speaking of boobs - - mine have officially left the building. On the left you can see the open/unoccupied area in the cup of my bra. That's a lot of unused space, because my poor scrotum boobs are basically poured loosely into the bottom half of the cup, and no longer have the "meat" to fill the whole thing. Let me say - YES. I know I need new bras - but seriously. I can fit my fist in the now open area. Maybe I'll put a play together called "bye, bye boobies"?

The only other drawbacks I'm experiencing at this point is my hair - - it is still falling out at an alarming rate. Hoping that will start to slow one of these days. And nothing really fits right. I seem to be in the middle of all of the sizes. Not really something worth complaining about - - but it is my reality.

So things are moving right along over here. A year will be here before I know it. I feel like that warrants some sort of celebration - - but just not sure what that should be? I'd be open to suggestions?


  1. I know you don't see much difference in the 6 and 9 month pics, but I DO!! I saw the 9 month pic and my first thought was, her face hasn't changed since high school. You look so much younger in the 9 month pic! Wow sees am I proud of you and inspired all in one!

    1. Thank you so much Janna!! I appreciate your kindness! :) I'm not sure this face hasn't changed since high school, but I'll definitely take it!!


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