It Puts the Lotion on the Back

I think I was born with a FUPA...I probably came out of the womb covered in goo, rocking a fupe. I don't recall a day where I didn't have one. Sure - there were varying degrees. Some smaller - some so, so large. Now it's can best be described as saggy...a loose pendulum swaying side to side with my movements. 

While I had issues working around my whole body those last few years, my stomach was definitely one of the most problematic. I couldn't bend at my waist - - so trying to get my shoes tied, get a golf ball out of the cup, and a million other things - proved nearly impossible. You should have seen me struggle to cut my toe nails, or paint them...laborious to say the least!

This most recent version and I have developed a rhythm. For most of the past couple of years I co-existed with this more deflated version of my FUPA less than consciously. It became automatic to tuck my multiple layers around it, trying to keep the crevices clean & dry -- doing my best to not develop any of the painful looking rashes/skin irritations I have seen others suffer from. It became this soft and squishy extension of myself that I honestly barely noticed...

Well...barely noticed until I'd do certain things at the gym. When I exercise, I repeatedly reposition my workout pants to try to keep them between my FUPA and upper thighs - bound and determined to avoid chafing. Any sled-pushing, and burpee-doing, would result in an audible slap of my FUPA against my legs. Scott claims he couldn't hear it, but that sound was deafening to me...

So as my FUPA and I enter the end of our time together, I've tried to pay attention. To not overlook the inconvenience it causes. To not diminish the tedium of insuring my skin is properly protected and cared for. To actually see the drawbacks of having this dangling mass hanging off my body - - not just the weight of it, but not being able to see some of the progress I've made working my ass off for the last 3 years. I have no idea what's under there, and I'm finally willing to admit I'm pretty damn excited to see it.   

I'm looking forward to having "the spread" (the extra bulk on my hips/ass that spreads out when I sit down) tightened up a bit. (pulling up my lower core area will also pull up my upper thighs/hips/ass) I may legitimately fit in my plane seat, and not have the the spread spill under the arm rests next to me! For a girl who is really happy to finally fit in a plane seat again, this is just the icing on the cake! 

The only drawback is that I will legitimately no longer have an ass. I didn't realized that until we were doing "FUPA's Last Photo Shoot" and I made that video. When I pulled up on the top of my rear, that baby was GONE! Hopefully Dr Camp can build me a little something...we all know I have the extra material... but I've also warned Scott that my return to the gym will have to be known as "Operation: Build a Booty". 

We are down to our last 9 days together. It has been nice having this time to actually observe the changes to my body more closely than I have since my weight loss surgery...and it will be weird as shit for a while when it's gone...but I adjusted to this body pretty quickly. I'm confident I'll be just fine in my new FUPA-less existence. 

Have you guessed the weight of the FUPA yet? Here is a link: FUPA Weight Guessing Game

Sometimes III

I always love to do the "Sometimes" posts. I figured it had been a while, so it was OK to do another one. Shout out to Val! Here we go...

Sometimes...  you move your arm quickly when putting on your sweatshirt, and your loose, flabby, granny, sag arm (did you see the pic on the "immediate gratification" entry?!?!) slaps against your body...loudly!

Sometimes...  I wonder if I could talk YC into also acting as my alarm clock. There are people who have trainers who come and actually get them up in the morning...right?

Sometimes...  you go back and read all of the comments people have left on your blog, and have a good laugh/cry.

Sometimes...  I want to dance with Ellen!

Sometimes...  it takes you until you are 35.5 to find something you really love, and are really excited about doing

Sometimes...  you hear the phrase "that makes my vagina boil" and feel you must adopt it as one of your own, immediately. Then you realize a gay guy said it, and you love it even more.

Sometimes...  you're a little nervous about cookie day with your sisters and nieces. You know it will be one of your biggest tests of will, but wouldn't skip that fun for anything in the world!

Sometimes...  you are standing at the cabinet at the gym finishing up your weightlifting paperwork when your iPod gets trapped between your FUPA and the cabinet, and the volume shoots up at such a rate that it almost deafens you.

Sometimes...  you realize you won't (hopefully!!) have to have a "fat intervention" around the holidays this year, and that makes you happy.

Sometimes...  you're a thirty-five year old with a babysitter.

Sometimes...  you wish knitting counted as cardio

Sometimes...  your body is a festival of stretch marks. It kind of looks like you tried to grow a baby in your upper arms and/or pancake boobs. Sexy.

Sometimes...  other people believe in you more than you believe in yourself...and you realize it is about time you catch up.

Sometimes...  you are shocked (and love it so much) when so many people join in on your mission, so you don't have to do it all by yourself!

The FUPssiere

Sometimes...when you get yourself nice and huge, and really get your body good and stretched out, things get pretty ugly when you start to lose weight.  Back before FC, I was humongous - but things were...firmer.  Monstrous, but more solid.  As I said in the "pancake-effect" entry, I have found that the more pounds I drop - the more things move....toward the floor!  (anti-shout out to gravity!)  Melissa McCarthy's character on Mike & Molly (a cute show on CBS about 2 overweight people who are dating) said, when her mom told her she was just "big boned" - "bones don't jiggle".

I have now discovered a new level to this problem - it can be best described as "floating FUPA".  I went to bootcamp class, and there is supposed to be much jumping about, jumping jacks, etc.  I tend to do a lot of marching during these times.  When you get a lot (and by a lot, I mean A LOT) of now-looser skin and flab moving in different directions, it can get painful.  We wear sports bras for this reason - but why does it have to stop at the boobs?  I have decided that what I really need is a "FUPssiere".  It would be like a brassiere for your FUPA - something to hold everything....up and secure.

The only major issue I can think of is that if I just had a band around my FUPA, and get to jumping around, the band will just roll down.  I think I may have come up with the perfect solution!  I want to develop something that would basically look like a glorified swimsuit - but made of comfortable/breathable material.  It would combine a sports bra, a FUPssiere and granny panties (the huge, over-the-gunt underwear I use for the gym, to avoid the roll-down I spoke of earlier).  They would be like Spanxx for the gym!  Now who wouldn't buy that?!?  I might be a millionaire!  I just need someone handier than I am to design it!

I also have my first "SDtS Product Endorsement"!  This weekend I discovered Extra Dessert Delights gum.  They have a sugarless option that is called "Mint Chocolate Chip" (one of my favorite ice cream flavors).  It is 5 calories per stick, and tastes delicious!!  The flavor actually lasts for a really long time, too.  I haven't tried the other flavors, but I think this one is definitely a win!

Share your favorite low-cal treat!

5K, Mexican Night & a Birthday Party

Back in 2004 (yes - SIX years ago) I did the MS Walk with a few friends - we walked 8 miles in St. Paul.  That was a lot of years, and a LOT of pounds ago.  In 2004 I was at my lowest weight....that I can remember.  It was the year my sister Wendy got married - and I had been doing Weight Watchers and had a personal trainer with my friend Stephanie.  Sarge really whipped the 2 of us into shape (or as close to "in shape" that I can remember being since high school - when I was in sports).  It is staggering, shocking and really sad when I actually allowed myself to think about the amount of weight I have gained since then.  In 6 years, I gained about 140 pounds.  That is disgusting, and a really difficult piece of information to digest.  I sat on my couch for 6 years.  I didn't exercise my way to 140 additional pounds.  I made bad food choices, which resulted in a huge weight gain!  Yikes.  It is amazing what you can ignore when your brain is trying to protect you.  Seriously - I registered that I wasn't in good shape, and that I wore larger clothes - but never put the actual number on it until Saturday.  Wow.  I need to do whatever I can to insure that never happens, again.

That being said, I did the Girl Scout Walk & Wheel 5K in Northfield.  (I had another realization - I have VERY few shirts that don't mention booze in some way!  I wore my new FC t-shirt)  Shout out to the Huntington sisters for allowing me to set the pace (which I am sure was much slower than they would have walked without me), walking on the grass so I could stay on the sidewalk (easier!) and keeping me company on my longest walk in 6 years!!  It went better than I thought it would!  I was extremely sweaty, and developed a pretty nice blister - but otherwise left feeling great!  Much better than my last outdoor walking experience!  There was one participant who showed up late  - and there was no T-shirt for her.  I offered to donate mine, in an attempt to keep her from losing it (she had the look of someone who might "snap" easily - - you've seen someone like that, right?).  I kind of wanted to kick her down when she said she would wear my shirt "as a dress" because she wanted an XL, and mine was a 2XL - but part of my life overhaul is to be a kinder/gentler person - so I abstained.  Molly was kind enough to give me a size Large t-shirt, so I have something to aspire to.  I was going to get a pic of me in it now, an put it on here for all to see - but I don't have a photographer available, so you'll just have to wait!  (I know - the excitement is really building, I am sure!)

From there I ran a couple of errands and then headed to my parent's house to attempt to assist with the "Mexican Night" hysteria.  (Mexican Night is an annual party, thrown at my parent's house.  It is always an entertaining/drunken mess)  Everyone brings delicious snacks - so I didn't really set my self up for non-snacking success by not eating dinner (no time - too many "tests") but still did a pretty good job of avoiding over-indulging on cream cheese, cheese, sour cream, etc -based snacks.  I opted for staying sober - and thoroughly enjoyed watching this amazing event unfold from the sober throne.  I got to give a couple of rides home, and watched some really good dance performances. (my dad and my uncle Andy combined their efforts to "trick" out the garage with laptops, speakers and a projector - so they could play music videos on the wall.  Can you say DANCE PARTY!?!?!)  I think the highlight of the evening for me was when my brother-in-law was dancing with my sister to some Slaughter monster ballad and told her "go dance with Natalie - I have to pick the next video".  Thank you, Ken.  I was hoping I could slow dance with my sister to monster ballads.  Mexican night is complete. 

Today was my cousin Chase's 17th birthday party.  One more chance for me to try and not eat like a sow.  There was delicious pasta, a really good salad with strawberry dressing (made with cream) and of course dessert.  I ate enough to no longer feel hungry, but didn't go hog-wild.  I tried to hold it together.  On Easter I mentioned to Chase that when I get to my goal weight, I want to go sky-diving.  He said he is planning to go sky-diving on his 18th birthday.  I figure there is no better way to motivate myself than that, right?  April 14, 2011 - I am going sky-diving with Chase.  I can wear my large girl scout t-shirt, and celebrate the fact that I will be twice his age!  I better keep my rear moving!!

Tonight I met my friend Stephanie to do some body measurements.  We are going to re-measure ourselves every 2-3 weeks until the end of June.  In an effort to make sure we measure the same spot each time, I took some notes on where we measured.  There were terms such as "FUPA" (Fat Upper Pubic Area.  aka: gunt), "2 inches from the Gheen" and "1 inch from said FUPA".  Luckily, my sister Mackenzie was around to hear this take place, and I think we gave her some pretty good entertainment.  It is a challenge to insure you are doing everything you can to monitor your accomplishments!

Hope you all had a great weekend, and will have an even better week!