Thursday, October 14, 2010

The FUPssiere

Sometimes...when you get yourself nice and huge, and really get your body good and stretched out, things get pretty ugly when you start to lose weight.  Back before FC, I was humongous - but things were...firmer.  Monstrous, but more solid.  As I said in the "pancake-effect" entry, I have found that the more pounds I drop - the more things move....toward the floor!  (anti-shout out to gravity!)  Melissa McCarthy's character on Mike & Molly (a cute show on CBS about 2 overweight people who are dating) said, when her mom told her she was just "big boned" - "bones don't jiggle".

I have now discovered a new level to this problem - it can be best described as "floating FUPA".  I went to bootcamp class, and there is supposed to be much jumping about, jumping jacks, etc.  I tend to do a lot of marching during these times.  When you get a lot (and by a lot, I mean A LOT) of now-looser skin and flab moving in different directions, it can get painful.  We wear sports bras for this reason - but why does it have to stop at the boobs?  I have decided that what I really need is a "FUPssiere".  It would be like a brassiere for your FUPA - something to hold everything....up and secure.

The only major issue I can think of is that if I just had a band around my FUPA, and get to jumping around, the band will just roll down.  I think I may have come up with the perfect solution!  I want to develop something that would basically look like a glorified swimsuit - but made of comfortable/breathable material.  It would combine a sports bra, a FUPssiere and granny panties (the huge, over-the-gunt underwear I use for the gym, to avoid the roll-down I spoke of earlier).  They would be like Spanxx for the gym!  Now who wouldn't buy that?!?  I might be a millionaire!  I just need someone handier than I am to design it!

I also have my first "SDtS Product Endorsement"!  This weekend I discovered Extra Dessert Delights gum.  They have a sugarless option that is called "Mint Chocolate Chip" (one of my favorite ice cream flavors).  It is 5 calories per stick, and tastes delicious!!  The flavor actually lasts for a really long time, too.  I haven't tried the other flavors, but I think this one is definitely a win!

Share your favorite low-cal treat!


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  2. Mint chocolate chip gum? I'm in! Design the Spanx thingy majig too! I hear you on the discomfort of sports bras. Argh!

  3. Thanks so much for the Mint Chocolate chip gum idea, girl!! So excited to hunt this down! By the way - my last "verification" word to post on your website was "splug" - is that a verb as "to splug" or to obtains spluga? :)

  4. I'm on board with this gadget - and thanks for making me giggle a LOT, by the way.
    I do think, when you do design this, you should make it with breatheable webbing in the lower gheen area...we all know bad things can happen in that area and when really working it, we'll want to ensure we're able to wear it a couple times without knocking someone out when we do a leg kick. :) I think you're onto something, sis.

  5. I just died reading all of has made my Sunday evening so eventful :)...

    My new favorite treat are the Skinny Cow single serve ice cream snacks...they are soo tasty and pre-portioned which is always nice


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