Wednesday, October 27, 2010


I know that everyone is entitled to their opinion. I appreciate the fact that people have opinions. I myself have one on entirely too many subjects. How boring would the world be if everyone thought the same thing, processed information in the same way, and consistently arrived at the same conclusion? So boring.

The thing about me, or at least I hope the thing about me, is that I am more than willing to admit when I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about. I used to be far more opinionated than I am now. As I have gotten older, I have tried to put myself in others' shoes. How would I feel if I was in their situation? Now this is not to say I don't still have the momentary lapse where I hop up on my high horse and prance around for a bit - but I do hope they are becoming fewer and farther between.

I was on Twitter today - where I tend to follow a lot of people or organizations tied to health and weight. Oh my goodness did things go crazy! There was an article, not getting nearly as much press as the one I will link to later, by CNN on the topic of weight on TV. When I read their article, I got the impression that they were basically just wondering if "weight" was too much of the plot line on a new CBS show where the two main characters are overweight. Too many jokes, too many mentions, too much focus. Well, that and dealing with the "outcry" from people who don't want to watch two overweight people being intimate. Ummm...did your TV subscription only come with one channel? I doubt it. CHANGE THE CHANNEL!! I guess overweight people should sit in their houses, and not be allowed to date? And I am certain there should be a law against overweight people having sex - right!?! (please pick up my sarcasm =)) Insane. I was interested in the part where they discussed (and this is me using my own words) that any time someone isn't the cookie-cutter size, shape, color....overall look - that we are used to seeing on TV, the show feels the need to explain to us why we aren't looking at the prototype that we are used to looking at. I didn't have any strong reaction to this article. It was the writer's opinion, I think the show is funny, they aren't telling the fat jokes about me - so let's call it a draw.

Now....... (not sure how to start this one) that article apparently prompted an article for Marie Claire magazine. This is where my "if you don't have any idea what you're talking about, kindly shut your hole" rule comes in to play. As much as I try to talk myself into allowing people to have their opinions, even if they are different from mine - I had an extremely hard time doing it here. It was quite obvious to me that the woman writing this column had pretty severe body issues of her own (confirmed later in the article), and decided to use her own issues as fuel to berate anyone who is overweight. Lady - if you have never been overweight, I don't want to hear you tell me how easy it is, and how much better I'll feel, and even offer tips on how - to lose weight. If I want your advice, ramblings, or lectures - I'll ask for them. I wasn't alone. I didn't read the comments, because I wasn't sure that would be "constructive", given how I was feeling after reading her article - but I did so enjoy her attempt at a total backpedal in the "update" at the end. Maura Kelly - I don't want to hear it. Don't project your insecurities onto the rest of us. Don't you feel bad for her now? She didn't mean to be a bully. 

I try to keep things positive...well, as positive as I can muster on some of those really bad days, anyway. I absolutely don't look at every thin person and assume they are healthy. I know better. I don't assume just because someone is overweight, that they are unhealthy. I know better than that, too. I am overweight, and still don't know what to tell other people that are overweight. I can only share what has, or in many cases - has not, worked for me. I am in no position to tell someone else what should be easy or hard for them. Or how they should feel. I cannot tell another person what their action, or reaction, to any given event should be.

How about we make a deal here at SDtS? Going forward, we will abstain from throwing blanket judgments out into the world, based on someone's physical make up? And maybe, we can not offer "advice" when we aren't asked, and for sure when we don't know where the other person is coming from? How about we share what is going on with us, and offer suggestions when asked, and otherwise leave the judging and lecturing out of it? Does that sound like a deal? Are you with me, people?


  1. Amen, sister!! No judgements until you've walked in my shoes...

  2. Wow, talk about offensive! Since that writer knows so much, she should start her own weight loss program and eliminate obesity from the face of the earth. It was very interesting to read the comments on that blog and I'm curious to how Ms. Kelly's career progresses... Thanks for the reminder that we should think before we speak... And refrain from judgments, as they are rarely productive.

  3. Thank you for posting this. I've recently discovered Mike & Molly - it's started broadcasting here in UK. I had wondered whether there had been any media interest as its stars were heavier than some. I loved Melissa McCarthy (who plays Molly) in Gilmore Girls which is constantly on re-run over here. ##Glad to see the commentator post an update. Silly woman.


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