Tears for Fears?

You guys know how I love shows about weight loss, right? Well there is a new one on A&E called "Heavy". It will follow two people each week. They go through a 6 month program - where it appears they have a personal trainer and nutritionist working with them the whole time. The first episode was on Monday night. I watched it today, and I am hooked. Something about it just rings true - like it might give people a more accurate idea of what it is like to be severely overweight - better than say, Biggest Loser does? Or maybe it just wasn't so much yelling. And it seems more realistic. I don't think these people are working out for 8 hours a day, and doing crazy workouts, like on BL. I like it.

But while I was watching the show, I couldn't help but notice something. On every weight loss show that I have ever watched, crying is basically it's own character. Whether it is from the pain of the workout, or the memories of what has happened in their past, or names they were called. It seems like it is a prerequisite that tears get a lot of screen time. And that is what hit me. I don't think I have had an all-out emotional breakdown. I have yet to be overtaken by tears, and am still waiting to go into crying hysterics. Wait! I guess I kind of wanted to cry today when I was on my last set of step ups....(kidding. sort of) Maybe they workout way harder than I do? Maybe they push themselves closer to the brink than I have at this point?

Maybe that is what's holding me back? Maybe I need some grand display of emotion to get me, and keep me, on track? Why have so many people, in a state similar to mine, shed so many tears? And why haven't I? Trying to lose as much weight as I am, and the people on these shows are, is a very emotional experience - but I guess mine is maybe manifesting itself in another way? Maybe I just try to internalize too much? Maybe I really am dead inside? Or maybe I haven't been traumatized as severely as some other obese people? Maybe I'm just lucky?

Well - let's face it. I am lucky. I have a wonderfully supportive family and great friends. I somehow maintained overall fair health (no diabetes, high blood pressure, etc) in spite of my enormous size and completely nonexistent exercise habits. I guess I have just been fortunate that this whole area of my life hasn't caused the all-encompassing distress that these contestants appear to be going through. Just one more thing to be grateful for. I'll add that to my list....and boy is that list getting long!

How about you guys? How do you deal with your tough life situations?

Wow.

I know that everyone is entitled to their opinion. I appreciate the fact that people have opinions. I myself have one on entirely too many subjects. How boring would the world be if everyone thought the same thing, processed information in the same way, and consistently arrived at the same conclusion? So boring.

The thing about me, or at least I hope the thing about me, is that I am more than willing to admit when I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about. I used to be far more opinionated than I am now. As I have gotten older, I have tried to put myself in others' shoes. How would I feel if I was in their situation? Now this is not to say I don't still have the momentary lapse where I hop up on my high horse and prance around for a bit - but I do hope they are becoming fewer and farther between.

I was on Twitter today - where I tend to follow a lot of people or organizations tied to health and weight. Oh my goodness did things go crazy! There was an article, not getting nearly as much press as the one I will link to later, by CNN on the topic of weight on TV. When I read their article, I got the impression that they were basically just wondering if "weight" was too much of the plot line on a new CBS show where the two main characters are overweight. Too many jokes, too many mentions, too much focus. Well, that and dealing with the "outcry" from people who don't want to watch two overweight people being intimate. Ummm...did your TV subscription only come with one channel? I doubt it. CHANGE THE CHANNEL!! I guess overweight people should sit in their houses, and not be allowed to date? And I am certain there should be a law against overweight people having sex - right!?! (please pick up my sarcasm =)) Insane. I was interested in the part where they discussed (and this is me using my own words) that any time someone isn't the cookie-cutter size, shape, color....overall look - that we are used to seeing on TV, the show feels the need to explain to us why we aren't looking at the prototype that we are used to looking at. I didn't have any strong reaction to this article. It was the writer's opinion, I think the show is funny, they aren't telling the fat jokes about me - so let's call it a draw.

Now....... (not sure how to start this one) that article apparently prompted an article for Marie Claire magazine. This is where my "if you don't have any idea what you're talking about, kindly shut your hole" rule comes in to play. As much as I try to talk myself into allowing people to have their opinions, even if they are different from mine - I had an extremely hard time doing it here. It was quite obvious to me that the woman writing this column had pretty severe body issues of her own (confirmed later in the article), and decided to use her own issues as fuel to berate anyone who is overweight. Lady - if you have never been overweight, I don't want to hear you tell me how easy it is, and how much better I'll feel, and even offer tips on how - to lose weight. If I want your advice, ramblings, or lectures - I'll ask for them. I wasn't alone. I didn't read the comments, because I wasn't sure that would be "constructive", given how I was feeling after reading her article - but I did so enjoy her attempt at a total backpedal in the "update" at the end. Maura Kelly - I don't want to hear it. Don't project your insecurities onto the rest of us. Don't you feel bad for her now? She didn't mean to be a bully. 

I try to keep things positive...well, as positive as I can muster on some of those really bad days, anyway. I absolutely don't look at every thin person and assume they are healthy. I know better. I don't assume just because someone is overweight, that they are unhealthy. I know better than that, too. I am overweight, and still don't know what to tell other people that are overweight. I can only share what has, or in many cases - has not, worked for me. I am in no position to tell someone else what should be easy or hard for them. Or how they should feel. I cannot tell another person what their action, or reaction, to any given event should be.

How about we make a deal here at SDtS? Going forward, we will abstain from throwing blanket judgments out into the world, based on someone's physical make up? And maybe, we can not offer "advice" when we aren't asked, and for sure when we don't know where the other person is coming from? How about we share what is going on with us, and offer suggestions when asked, and otherwise leave the judging and lecturing out of it? Does that sound like a deal? Are you with me, people?