Friday, October 29, 2010

I Fear I'm a Gym Snob

One thing remains consistent about my gym visits, regardless of how often I go. I want to get in and out as quickly as possible. Get my work done as fast as my diminished cardiac abilities will allow me to, and get out! I fear that my desire to speed through this portion of my day has made me a bit of a gym snob?

When it comes to the cardio equipment, I don't want people on the machine right next to me. Why? I have no idea. I just don't want them there. I like the buffer of one machine between me and the next person. Kind of like seats at the movie theater. When there is an option to leave an open machine, it should be mandatory to do so.

When it comes to the use of cell phones - no. Don't do it. There is no one that is so important that they cannot go 30-60 minutes without taking a phone call. NO ONE. On top of that, the person on the phone is talking loud enough that I can't hear what I am listening to. Why is it my job to police this? It isn't, but it still bugs me for some reason.

When it comes to the weights I need to use - others shouldn't be allowed to use them at that time. Believe me - I realized this is completely irrational. I do get that I belong to a public gym, and they have just as much right to those weights as I do. But I would still like to have some sort of pass that allows me to take things away from others when I need to use them.

When it comes to the weight bars (these approximately 3' long metal bars with small weights on the end. They are all one piece, and are stored on a "tree" of sorts - with the top rung being about 5', and going to the floor. The lightest bar is 10#, and then increase every 5-10# from there - going up to 70#, I believe) - lightest goes on the top! Inevitably I find that the 35 pound bar has been put on the top rung of the tree - which is about even with my shoulders, while the 10# bar is on the rung by the floor. Hey super-tall/super-strong jacka....ummm...person! Leave the top rungs for the light weights so the people who have already had to lift more than they want to by the time they get up to the 35# bar, and whose arms already feel more than slightly fatigued, can get it off the stupid tree without looking like an ass.

When it comes to the weight machines that I need to use - see the "weights" paragraph above. All of those rules apply. I have this to add regarding the actual machines: I go at a time when a lot of patrons are...ummm..advanced in age. I swear I have seen a few of them taking naps on the machines! They don't move for extended periods of time, and their eyes are closed. It is no good. Slightly concerned it may be more serious than a nap! I asked YC if anyone has ever fallen asleep. He wasn't sure about that - but said there was a guy on his back in the stretching area one day that didn't move for an extended period of time. Maybe we could build some sort of zapper into the seats, so if you don't move for 5 minutes, it zaps you into movement? I think I'm on to something, here.

Until such a time that I somehow become "Oprah-Rich" and can afford to have my own home gym, and can have YC and his adorable gf (I got to meet her on Tuesday. She is lovely) move into my guest house (hey - if I can afford a home gym, I can afford a guest house...right?) - I guess I am going to have to remember what I learned when I was a babe. Share and play nice.

Do you have any tendencies toward gym-snobbery? Please share.

1 comment:

  1. Loved these gym observations! I find myself nodding my head in confirmation as I read your "requisites". Does that make me a gym snob too? Sign me up!


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