I might need to have my eyes checked

It is official. I am off my game! I am typically a pretty observant person, I think. I enjoy people-watching, and taking in what's going on around me. This week, I have chosen to shut all of that off, apparently!

My gym - LifeTime Fitness - closes annually for a complete-club clean. They rotate locations, so it typically isn't too bad. It lasts about 5-7 days, so it is pretty easy to work around. Usually. But Monday, between the cold and the cramps, and the locker room being closed - I must have been distracted. Nowhere did I see any sign or notation that the gym was going to be closing this week for cleaning. That was until today.

Last night my lower back was bugging me. Who knows what I did to it - probably just slept on it weird. It happens fairly frequently. It bugs me for a couple of days, and then it's fine again. But last night I just couldn't sleep. Couldn't get comfortable. Couldn't get settled in. I was also determined not to take any cold medicine (I have some pretty strict rules about meds, and thought I needed to take a night off) so I didn't have that to knock me out. Needless to say - I didn't sleep worth a crap. I got about 3 hours of sleep, and that is not nearly enough for this girl to function properly.

Case in point: I decided that it would make me feel better to hit the gym for some cardio. I pulled up to the gym - and an almost empty parking lot - and headed toward the door. I was in some sort of daze - or maybe it was just my joy over seeing the sun, because I didn't notice the 2 signs on the door telling me the gym was closed. Right inside the door was a large tri-pod holding a large board describing what services were available during the shut down. I nimbly (yeah right) side-stepped it without registering what it was talking about, and headed for the 2nd set of doors. Now you would have for sure figured the signs on those doors would have stopped me in my tracks - right? Not so much. I threw open the doors and finally started to take in my surroundings. Like the fact that the club was pretty much dark. There was no one at the front desk. There were 3 young ladies across the entry way looking at me like I was out of my mind. And that is when I saw it - finally. The sign on the front desk that said the club was closed for cleaning. Good LORD! What kind of zone was I in that I had no idea? So I turned around and headed back to my car. I had just turned out of the parking lot when I realized I forgot to look and see what dates they were actually closed.

I was going to head to a different location, but realized I had forgotten my phone and wallet at home. I determined if I was struggling this much with such mundane tasks I might as well pack it in for the day and try again tomorrow. So wish me luck, kids. I'll be seeing if I can't make it to the next closes club Friday morning - and don't worry....I've already checked to see that they're open.

Here's to hoping that you're functioning better than I am! Have a great weekend, everyone!

Shout Out: Katie

There are a lot of times that I wonder if anyone is out there. If what I am rambling about is finding someone, and speaking to them in some way. If it is helping someone else realize that they aren't alone. That their struggle with weight, although their own personal struggle, is not something only they deal with. I get comments occasionally. There are people who interact on our Facebook page. There are people who follow me on Twitter. I love all of these more than you know.

I have been slacking on my entries lately. I was going through a period of self-doubt. I wasn't sure if me sharing what I'm going through was helping anyone. And not just you guys out there...but me. Was spilling my guts on how much I struggle at times helping? Is allowing the world into my head and heart doing anyone any good? Should I have advertised it to everyone I know on Facebook and Twitter and all of my friends and family? Or is it just providing ammunition to those that don't struggle with a similar issue? The people that don't understand why I fall off the wagon...frequently. The people who don't understand why I don't just eat well, and go to the gym every day - without fail. I was really having an internal battle over whether or not to continue with this.

And then last week I got my answer. I received the email below. I can't explain how much it meant to me to get it. I am so excited for Katie. She stuck to it, and is sticking to it! And she's improving her life! It might not be at the rate she'd like - let's be honest...it NEVER goes as fast as we'd like! But she's doing it! And I am so proud of her. And the fact that I could have helped, in any way, is just so......amazing.

So I'm going to continue. I'm going to keep being honest about what I'm going through (like the bag of Cheetos I had this week, and finshed). I hope you guys will continue to stick with me. And I hope you'll update me on how your life is going. Because I need you guys, too. You motivate me. You remind me that I'm not the only one that has ever wanted to rip their FUPA off and beat the shit out of it because they're so frustrated. You help me.

And Katie - SHOUT OUT to you! For sticking with it. For sending me that email, when I really needed it. And for being one kick-ass broad!

Here is the email:

Just thought I’d let you know…it’s been about a year-ish since I started reading your blog and I’ve lost 25 lbs. It’s only 25 lbs and I’m still in the same size of clothes (because I apparently have to lose 80 before I move a size) but then again, it’s 25 lbs!!! Your blog is truly helping me. I figure I’ve got nothing but time, so however long this takes me to lose, that’s how long it takes me. I’ve learned from your blog that I’m not the only one struggling and that I just have to get back on the horse. That it’s okay to have a bad day, week or even a couple weeks…I just have to keep going.

Anywho…rambling….

Have a good day!

Katie