Yesterday was my 35th birthday. I typically coordinate my own birthday party (totally the way to go - you are guaranteed to get to do exactly what you want!!), and have named it "Drunken Dancing". I started that tradition on my 29th birthday, and have had one each year. With the numerous changes being made in this life of mine, I didn't think an all-out drunken mess of a night was what I wanted to do this year. Instead, my friends asked what I wanted to do - and I had only one thing in mind: go out for dinner at Carbone's. I have had Carbone's on the brain since the potato-chip-in-four-bites session at FC. During that class, we had to visualize eating our favorite food - and mine was Carbone's pizza. I hadn't had pizza in 6+ weeks. That may not seem like much to many of you, but let me assure you - it is an amazing record for me, and by about 5 weeks! I ate my pizza with non-stop permagrin. My friends, sisters and parents were kind enough to join me. Eating pizza while enjoying the NCAA national championship game (OMG - that game was amazing!) = a great birthday!
I am certain the people at FC, or anyone else that has been educated in helping people lose weight, would tell you that using food as a reward or focusing on food as the major part of a celebration is not what you should do. I understand that I shouldn't. I also feel like the number of the times where food is the focus for me has decreased drastically! I haven't gone completely off the wagon since starting FC. I have made, what I believe to be, very controlled choices with food - even when out to eat. I wanted pizza for my birthday. I adjusted my food intake for the day to allow a little extra wiggle room (I am certain it probably wasn't enough to completely make up for the pizza I ate - but I made an effort.). One of the ladies at the DFC said that changing one thing you would normally do, is progress. I did that, and to me - that makes it OK. And the shocker? I didn't wake up thinking "well - I went off the program last night, so I might as well have another blow-out for breakfast! If I am going to blow it, it might as well all be at the same time!" - which is typically what I have done in the past. One bad meal turned into 2, and two turned into 10, and that turned into 2 years of sitting around, and eating like crap.
It seems completely bizarre to me that my outlook on things, the way my brain processes my options, the way I respond to situations, can change so much in 6 weeks - but they have all changed! And I am shocked each time I look at a situation, and am able to make better decisions. It is so unlike me! Or, rather, it is so unlike the old me. I'll have to work on coming up with a name for my former personality (my self-destructive personality)! =)
All-in-all, it was a great birthday! 35 is the new awesome, and it is off to a great start. Thank you everyone who helped me celebrate!
Do you have any name ideas for my previous personality? I think it would be nice if she had a name.