Thursday, July 15, 2010

The Name Game

It has been brought to my attention - and I could not agree more, really (shout out to Marilyn) - that we should stop giving a woman's name to a negative things.  Girl names should be saved for lovely things - like cars (shout out to my beloved, JaLisa), boats, planes, RVs, etc.  Lady names should reflect solid, dependable and necessary things.  Not to be a complete man-basher, but it seems completely legitimate to use male names to describe unfavorable things.  My fat is unfavorable, and thus requires a male name.  I have officially taken "Irene" off the table.  "Frank" has been suggested - but unfortunately, I have an association with that name.  That kind of weirds me out - so I have come up with a list of names I think would be wonderfully suitable.  I was thinking of "Shamus" - but thought that maybe sounded like I am ashamed.  As much as I don't have a great deal of pride associated with my flubber, I am certainly not ashamed of it.  I do realize how insane it is of me to put this much effort into such a silly thing, but I think having a name for this....padding....will be something to entertain me.  There are enough things about this process that are not entertaining in the least, that I can use anything that gives me a chuckle.  

I would appreciate any input you may have regarding these names.  I am also open to additional suggestions. 

  • Kraig
  • Quinn
  • Dewayne
  • Felix


  1. I vote for Ron (I always thought of Mr. Mom). Sorry if I am insulting anyone with that name :)

  2. How about Bernard? Sounds like a good name for extra poundage.

    I actually use a male name for my elliptical trainer. That way I can yell at him when I'm mad about working out. Lately I've been calling him Edward, as in "I've only been on Edward twice this week--he wore me out too bad on Tuesday."

  3. Bruce. or Brutus, as in "Et tu, Brute?"

  4. Gustof.
    Biff - shout out to our friend from A-tec

    And...I do like Bruce.
    Felix is a cat. DeWayne is DeWayne Wayne.
    Quinn is too cute of a name and Kraig just is not doing it for me.

  5. Bruce is really good...I also think you could shorten DeWayne to just Wayne and that might work. Dean? Get rid of Dean and you'll be so lean! Ha!

  6. What about something French as a "shout out" to French fries which can seriously impact the poundage? Jacque? Gilles? Marcel!!!!! I'm really into Marcel (or Bruce). Have fun picking!!!!! PS I love the pic you selected!

  7. Ooh, I like Felix! Or what about Remus?! I always used to give things silly names to at least make myself laugh!

  8. just stumbled across your journal, and i like "DeWayne" cos it sounds a bit awkward and uncomfortable, like maybe your weight is?

  9. Ohh I like Biff! Isn't he the awful character from Back to the Future! Biff sounds like a true asshole you can't wait to get rid of.!!!!


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