Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Woody Allen has said "There are two types of people in this world, good and bad.  The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more."  Not sure what to make of me - - I sleep well, and tend to enjoy my days as well!  I love to people watch (I find things tend to go awry when I try and interact!).  I love to try and figure out what makes people tick.  Well...most of the time.  Sometimes the last thing I want to do is deal with people and their craziness.  Over the last few months I have had a few situations that have left me completely befuddled, or giggling uncontrollably - or both.  Here are a few.... 

I heard the greatest quote while waiting at Perkins to have brunch with some friends on Sunday.  The last days had been really humid, but Sunday was gorgeous!  Sunny and warm, but lacking in my nemesis humidity.  The lady looked at her friend and told her "This weather is perfect!  Anyone who isn't out enjoying it should be ashamed of themselves!".  She was about 125 years old, and I thought that was worth sharing.

If you are looking for a way to burn some additional calories, and have (or can borrow) a child between the age of 1-2 available, have I got a great idea for you.  Get yourself one of those hiking/backpack kid holders, throw the kid in it and mow the law.  I saw one of my new neighbors doing that, and I felt it was phenomenal.

Bras and underwear/biker shorts do not a swimsuit make.  You aren't fooling anyone.  If you cannot afford a $15 swimsuit from Wal-Mart, you shouldn't have a gym membership.  In the event that you do believe, incorrectly, that these items constitute a bathing suit - it is very beyond unacceptable to go in the water.  It tends to make your WHITE cotton biker shorts transparent (seriously - a lady at LTF in Eagan would come into the pool area daily in this ensemble.  Start in the sauna, then move to the hot tub.)  I don't need to see that.  I'm just sayin'.
This picture is not of a woman using white shorts as a swimsuit, but displays another reason why white bike shorts are NOT ok.  Well...kind of OK - in a kind of gross way.  Sorry if this offends, but it gave me a chuckle.

When you walk into a public library and tell them you are here for 9 months, and would like to get a card - do not assume this will lead them to believe you want to be able to check out books.  I went to the public library (with an armed guard at the door...that was a first for me) near my current home today, and after 15 minutes was given a card to use the computers.  I should have asked when they said I could have a visitor card, and it would be $5/month - but I thought maybe they did that for non-residents.  After getting everything sorted out, and spending another 30 minutes there, I was on my way with my last, and next - book club books.  

I have determined that Milwaukee residents are the least patient people in existence.  Granted, I know it is easy to be patient, when you have nowhere to be - but this is ridiculous.  The drivers are constantly honking (you have approximately 1/8 of a second to get moving when the light turns green, or you are in trouble) at each other.  I have now discovered it goes beyond the car.  While on my virgin library run (see above) I was lucky enough to run into the least patient woman in the world.  I will call her "Pil" for patience is lacking.  So after I figure out they have given me a card for the internet and not to check out books, I had to go back to the service desk to receive my refund and get set up properly.  They library had recently graduated to self-check-out machines (SCOM) (nothing new for a girl from the big city of Eagan like myself - I had been using those for years!) and it was throwing some of their patrons for a loop.  One girl was standing by the new machine, asking if people would be willing to try the SCOM.  Anyone that was unwilling to try the SCOM (including Pil and her fantastic disposition) had to move over into line behind me at the service desk, and be manually checked out.  Pil comes over, and is immediately up in arms over the number of children in the library.  I believe the quote was "there are too many kids in here - - I have to get out of here RIGHT NOW!!".  Now...who among us has not felt this way?  Well - probably a lot of you, but as a non-lover of children, I can tell you I have had similar thoughts on occasion. (granted - it usually isn't the kids, so much as their parents)  However, when you go to the library at 4pm on a week day, what do you expect? (I was informed that if you come right away in the morning when they open, you don't have this "problem".  Problem = kids)  Plus - be happy they are here trying to get something to read.  Sorry for the sidetrack - I am back.  She then begins rambling (to no one in particular, or maybe she thought I looked sympathetic?) about the SCOMs and how she doesn't have time to deal with that, and why would they be trying those today?!?!  Umm...lady - it is a Monday afternoon.  When would you propose they try them out?  When no one is around to try them out?  Certainly not during your precious mornings, I am sure!  Weirdos.  I hope she made it home in time for....whatever it is that she had to get to in such a rush. 

I believe Tina Fey to be a genius. 

I prefer to walk outside, rather than at the gym.  (I hate treadmills, they are the devil's business.  I think my disdain may be tied back to my traumatizing Stress-test.)  Not only do the great outdoors make it possible to get some fresh air, and the option to soak in some sunshine - it also removes one option for laziness for me.  When you start your walk, you have more energy and are willing to walk further.  The great part about being outside is that you have to get yourself back home.  When you are in the gym, on the treadmill, you can just stop.  And I have to have an internal battle with myself to complete my time, from the second I step on this machine of torture.

Ice cream trucks are creepy.  I have decided that I think they are creepy not only because they are, in fact, creepy - but we also didn't have them where I grew up.  It is hard to embrace such a concept as an adult.  It is a combination of the music (the one in my current neighborhood plays "do your ears hang low" and "pop goes the weasel") and the probability of seeing a real-life pedophile (I know - it isn't fair to stereotype, but some things just strike you a certain way.  It is like that guy who used to play the guitar in the Saturday Night Live band, who just looked like he would do bad things to you if he caught you in a dark alley.  Take a look for yourself....
creepy, right?

What about you, out there?  Any observations to share?


  1. Give the ice cream trucks a chance! Maybe you've just seen a few bad ones lately. I have very fond memories of the ice cream truck when I was little; however, he always seemed to speed up when he saw us chasing after him with our money. That was probably how he got his kicks for the day - outrunning little kids in his mini-truck. Sandra

  2. Here you loud and clear! Icecream trucks and their drivers are creepy if they are not looking for children to molest they are supporting a drug habit. Also another thing that creeps me out is grown men at my work who think is o.k. to wear cartoon based scrub tops! OMG take if off! I tell them that grown men should never wear cartoons on anything ever especially at the vamc no children there just vets really! Another rule of mine is that men over say 50 should never stand by a merrigoround alone just not good no matter what the situation or how good the guy is. I feel purged thanks love lisa.

  3. Natalie, if you promise to continue to post pictures like the one of the guys in the white shorts, I promise to read your blog religiously. ;)

  4. Great picture of the guys in the white shorts! You know your going to get a reaction from that!


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