It has been so long! I discovered during this month+ of non-blogging that I really do miss it! I don't know that anyone else cared, or even noticed I was absent - but regardless, I am back!
The last month has had its challenges. For those of you that haven't been around, here is a little bit of what I have been up to... my sister Mackenzie and I lived in an apartment, and she was going to buy a townhouse. Not just any townhouse, but the ultimate thistle (a term coined by my father to refer to a place that could use some work - the entire phrase is something like: don't be afraid to get a thistle, we can turn it into a rosebush). It needed a LOT of work. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to close until 5/28. We had to be out of our apartment by 5/31. So we packed all of our things that we wouldn't absolutely need onto a truck, and went our separate ways. She went to our other sister's, and I went to my friend Linda's (shout out to Linda for allowing me to invade for 3 weeks, and being so great about it!!). We (multiple family members, friends and a few hired contractors) then spent 3 weeks ripping up urine saturated carpet, painting walls, putting in new flooring, painting new trim/baseboards/doors, fixing numerous holes, and cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. I cannot imagine how the people before her lived in that house. We both moved in (granted I only stayed for about 5 days) before I relocated (temporarily) to Milwaukee. After three weeks, it was a completely different house - it is now a home. Shout out to Mackenzie for having the vision to see what it could be..and going for it.
I am hoping I can adopt that attitude with myself. Having a vision of where I can be - where I want to be, and having the guts to stick with it. I looked at my sister's new place, and wasn't sure that even that insane amount of work would make it what she wanted it to be. I tend to have the same issues with myself. I run into problems having the vision to see where I can be if I stick with it, if I put in the work, if I want it bad enough. I had a lot of time to think while painting what felt like never-ending baseboards and trim - - and had to remind myself that it is all me. I have to motivate myself to get moving, I need to set my goals and make accomplishing them a priority, I have to talk myself out of thinking I need chips/french fries/burgers, etc. It is hard to stick to a healthy eating plan when you are borderline homeless - but it is not impossible. I was allowing myself to make it seem impossible, because I wasn't willing to put in the work to keep up with it. I was working most of the time, but not making time for working out. I tried to eat well the majority of the time for lunch - but I could have done better. I took the easy way out - not working to eat well, and not making time for exercise. For a month, I was off my game.
Gratefully, I wanted to get back on track! The first day I got settled in here, I went and loaded up on fruits and veggies. I have taken advantage of the fact that I am near a park with a lot of trails, and have spent a lot of time walking. I am already feeling so much better! I just had to re-commit myself to this - and gratefully I did it before I gained back all I had lost and then some!! I am really looking forward to this next phase - where I only have to work on, and worry about, myself. Shout out to Keith for being so brave to take that assignment in Brussels, and allow me some time at his house to figure out what to do next.
I know I am not the only person with wavering commitment. Have you seen the people driving down the road with bumper stickers taped in their rear windows? That is the ultimate lack of commitment. I feel strongly enough about what this bumper sticker says to post it today, but I may not tomorrow - so I'll just tape it in the window, so I can take it down anytime I want. But I am committed to this. I am committed to myself. I may have moments where it is less than 100% loyal to this process, but I know I will always get back. Maybe I should go get a tatoo of "I will be healthy" on my rear - - it will be like my body's bumper-sticker...a booty sticker, if you will.
What would your "booty sticker" say?