Monday, November 8, 2010

I don't care about being big and strong, I just want to look good naked

I have heard a lot of "naked" talk over the last week or so. The pastor at my friend Jason's wedding talked a little bit about getting naked during the wedding - really! Somewhat shocking, but also pretty entertaining. Then I was flipping through one of my magazines the other day, and there was an article about that same topic.

The lady in the magazine was saying that she was barely comfortable staying naked long enough to get dried off after a shower. She has a friend who is her polar-opposite - who said she hates it when people just drop by unannounced, because what if she is vacuuming naked? Really? I am all for being comfortable with your body...but housework naked? That just seems weird and unnecessary. Unless you are doing something special for your spouse, I just don't understand why? Are your garments too binding? Do you get so hot during these chores, that the weight of pants is just too much to bear? Just thinking about some of the contortions I get myself into when cleaning....I just don't think that is anything that needs to be done sans garments! To each their own, I guess?

That article just made me think of some of the gym locker room faux pas I have seen, or heard about. My youngest sister, Mackenzie, used to belong to LTF. One day she was walking into the locker room, and walked directly into a 70+ year old lady who just happened to be completely naked. She must have gone to weigh herself, and didn't want the accuracy compromised by the weight of a towel. She then walked back past the entrance in the buff. For those of you that know Mackenzie, I am sure you can guess how much she thoroughly enjoyed that.

A couple of weeks ago I went to the gym earlier than usual, and was going to shower before heading back to Minnesota. As I was getting myself ready for the shower, 2 naked elderly ladies (my best guess is 65-70 years old) plopped down on their towels on one of the benches - side-by-side. That is right. Just sitting there, naked, talking about their cats. I started to giggle a bit - partially was funny. I stopped giggling when it dawned on me that that could be me! I already have the saggy body! I am half way there!

not all naked is bad, however....
I think it is great that people are comfortable in their skin. I get that after working out, and showering, one is probably pretty warm. I understand that locker rooms are for changing, and that people are going to be naked. But I am wondering if I could make the request that you put something on before walking up to the counter and mirrors? Are you really so hot that a bra would be too much coverage for you? If your only option is a sports bra, I realize you will probably get stuck with it 1/2 way on if you try to dress too soon - but put a towel on, or something! Does leaving your beave completely bare, while walking up next to me while I wash my hands, keep you at a better temperature? Maybe it is the fact that I am jealous that your boobs face forward, rather than your feet? Whatever it is - I would appreciate not having the reflection of your headlights staring me in the face when I look up from the sink. You are  not that hot - literally or figuratively.

For the guys that read this, and wondering what the issue is....yeah - I know some of you are thinking "what's the problem? get them some pillows and let them go to town!" - I have this to say. I know you have guys that do similar things in your locker rooms. The guy that needs to have one leg up on the bench while he stands there naked? And if you are still confused, envision this: you are up at the sink, washing your hands/brushing your teeth/etc, when some dudes walks up next to you...naked....and throws his junk up on the counter. Now how do you feel about it?

This is my week of pay-back to YC for the Vikings losing to the Packers. I have to bring him lunch every day. Here is what I am taking him today:
  • 11.5 oz of marinated chicken (approximately 400 calories)
  • Mac & Cheese from America's test kitchen light (360 cals)
  • 1 cup steamed broccoli (50 cals)
Not sure how many calories he usually eats - but I figure he is a growing boy, and burns more than I do by a long shot. We'll see how this goes, and maybe scale it back tomorrow? Stay tuned.


  1. Thanks for the laugh about Mack and the Old Beav that makes me giggle... you have some very valid points though I have to say I have never understood the nakedness in public.

  2. My favorite line: "She must have gone to weigh herself, and didn't want the accuracy compromised by the weight of a towel." LOL

  3. I hope that woman knows that I am scarred for LIFE! She should consider making better choices while in public.


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