Tuesday, November 2, 2010

A Letter to Clothing Stores

Dear Carriers of Plus-Sized Clothing,

I wanted to write to make you aware of a couple of things that I have noticed, and believe you would benefit from being made conscious of. I trust that I am not your only patron who feels this way, and figured rather than continuing to complain about you to my friends - it may be more productive to make you, the people who can actually do something about it, aware of these issues.

Let me preface this letter by stating that I appreciate you. I am genuinely grateful for your existence. Without you, I would be shopping at the tent surplus store, and be wearing muumuus in varying colors of nylon. That being said, I would like to comment on a couple of things.

Please understand that being overweight, or "plus-sized" as I believe you call it in the biz, does not equal being void of fashion sense. Just because my rear cannot squeeze into a size 2, does not mean I want to constantly and consistently wear things that look like glorified burlap sacks. I like color, I like things with some shape to them, and I like wearing things that are currently in style. Is it really so challenging to make current fashions in a larger size? Not everything needs to be an over-sized, loose, ill-fitting bag made of a neutral colored cloth. I promise you.

Regarding Jeggings. No. No. No. No. I am not even sure where to go beyond that. Whoever designed these, should be shot. Whoever decided that they should be manufactured in anything larger than a size 2, should be put out of their misery. Whoever is stuck in the 80's, when leggings were popular, should be maimed for pushing for their comeback. I want things that are fitted - I desire to have pants that hug my "curves" (and by "curves" I mean "well insulated curves"), but are looser in the leg. I do not, under any circumstances want something that is skin-tight all the way to my shankles.

I know it seems I want it both ways. The paragraphs above beg for modern fashions, and here I am bashing one of them. I guess what I am asking is to make some reasonable fashion decisions. You guys are supposed to be on the cusp of what is hot in fashion, right? Can you please utilize those skills, while also taking your clients into consideration? No overweight woman wants a short shirt. Accidental FUPA exposure is not something any of us wants to have to deal with. And it is just not sexy to have to keep yanking your shirt down constantly. I understand that it is my option to not buy Jeggings - but I would appreciate you taking it one step further. Look out for the masses here. Understand that no one wants to see someone my size in denim that looks like there is the very distinct possibility that it was painted on. No one.

While I understand that you are dealing with a potential client-base with ages as varied as their sizes, please keep in mind that the abundance of your shoppers are probably under 70, and will not be on senior cruises playing shuffle-board any time soon. (shout out, and no offense, to the over-seventy crowd!) That being said - please do not have all of your buyers in that mind-set. Some of your shoppers may like to dress on the conservative side, but the majority would probably like their clothes to fit the "modern, just roomier" category. Not everything needs a garish print. Not everything needs to look like granny Hazel went nuts with her bedazzler. Go take a gander around the "regular" stores, see what they are selling, and look for that.

For my part, I promise the following: I promise I will not wear a tube top - EVER (shout out to Ellen who said "what goes up, must come down" where these were concerned. May be the most true statement ever uttered?). I promise that I will wear clothes that are at least in the general vicinity of the correct size, and not try and jam my plump body into clothes that are entirely too small. I promise to never write you, again, if you make positive strides.

Make it and they will come. Add a couple of extra inches to cover our couple of extra inches. Help a girl out!

Slimming Down to Sexy

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